Marvel: 2011-09-18 - Car Robbery Pancake Breakfast

It's a hot and humid day in lower Manhattan, and tempers are frayed thin (By the standards of New Yorkers). Stuck in traffic as the light changes, a large armored car bearing deposits for a downtown bank as it chugs ahead.. Right in time for one of the people in the crowd to suddenly whip off a long coat, revealing the terrifying SHOCKER as he goes to blast at a large traffic pole, which falls to crush the front of the armored van and smash it still!

 Middle of the day, and nothing beats the heat like a cool breeze. Like the ones off the river when accentuated by the rushing air of swinging across the skyline at sixty miles an hour. It's a bit after Spider-Man's first class of the day, and a bit before his next, so some swingtime is taken. Then when there's that loud bang and crack and smash... is heard, it's a darn good thing he did take that time. With spider-sense ringing its alarm loud in his senses, Spider-Man halts his motion in mid-swing. He extends an arm, firing a webline and knifing his body into a twisting turn that takes him in the direction of that sound. He breaks into a good steady swinging rhythm as he makes his way. That thud was almost as loud as one she might have made herself! Not that She-Hulk is immediately visible, or perhaps the Shocker might have hesitated before attacking the armored car. Nope. She was in one of the office buildings, and now comes strolling almost casually out. Except that she's cracking her big green knuckles.

 The sonic waves vibrate powerfully and shatter the windows as well as cause the webbing to /SNAP!/ as he's in mid-swing. With an eloquent, "Yoip!" Spidey's sent flipping through the air only to land on all fours upon the hood of a Volkswagen. He lifts his head up, one leg propping him up as he casually comments, "Heya Shocker, I always wondered why you chose that name." There's a twist as he rolls off the car, another humming crackle of vibration slams into the car, causing it to crunch and break apart partially from the impact even as Spidey flips upwards to snare a streetlight and loop around it. He ends up perched there even as Shocker takes aim again, "I mean your powers aren't electrical. They're based on vibrations. So shouldn't your name be Vibrat... oh now I get it." And as he says this he darts in, rolling once and trying to lash out and sweep the legs out from under the villain.

 At this point, as the vibrations cause windows to shatter and New Yorkers to scatter, Spidey lands over on the wagon, it giving a bit but holding up. Shocker snaps out at Spider-Man, “And shouldn’t your name be Squish, ‘cuz that’s what you’re gonna be..” Right in time for Spidey to swing ni, flick him off his legs and send him sprawling to the ground!’ And for the moment, as Jen is all glued up, she hears a familiar voice that sounds quite happy to see her, “Well Dollface, it’s wonderful to catch you again, and all tied up in a little bow for me!” Out in the crowd, the third member of the robbing trio goes to charge towards Jennifer, as the vixen TITANNIA charges towards her as she’s all stuck up!

 "If we're going to be named after sound effects that we make," Spider-Man is a pure picture of grace, moving effortlessly one direction, then the other as he darts one way and the next. He almost too casually flips over Shocker, "Shouldn't you then be called, 'Ow Ow My Ribs'?" And as if to punctuate that as he lands he fires a backkick straight at Shocker aiming to slam the guy off his feet and into the wreckage of the car he just vacated. In the brief seconds that may buy him he calls out across the way, "Heya Jen, you ok with your goons?" At this point, as Spidey goes over to try and mash Shocker, Shocker manages to roll out of the way. Right in time for Boomerang to flip a trio of homing razor-boomeranges towards Spidey, the trio attempting to lock on over to the Wall Crawler to get him away from Shocker! Right as Shocker, rolling off his back attempts to blast the Wall Crawling Menace over with his wrist blasters as he tries to get up to his feet! At this point, as she charges in over towards Jennifer, the Super-Strong Titania is caught by Jennifer, and send SLAMMING over into a wall by Jennifer's throw, her getting up out of the Titania shaped wall imprint, "It is ON!" And yes, several people in the crowd have video phones out recording! As for Spidey, for him time seems to slow to a snail's pace as his mind snaps to the various movements, objects, dangers. His spider-sense wails in his mind, but provides that subtle direction to the movements of his body even as he twists in mid air. He flips backwards smoothly, one hand planting upon the asphalt of the road, arm tensing... pushing him up and back into the air. He slips in between two of those razorrangs, "Aww, for me, Boomerang? You shouldn't have." His body contorts like a circus act even as he nimbly putshimself in just. the. right. place. The third razorrang is blown apart by Shocker's blast. Spider-Man's able to land in the middle of the road, one hand snapping out as a webline fires, splaying at the end of it as it latches onto and grasps the Volkswagen's doorframe. With a jerk he brings it up and snaps it almost whiplike right towards Boomerang as he offers, "I got something for you too, here!"

 BOOMERANG yells over at Shocker, “You KNOW how damned expensive those things are!” Right in time to have the VW beetle flung over towards him only to mutter, “That’s gonna leave a mark.” Right in time for SHOCKER to blast out with his wrist blasters over towards it, which would result in it exploding, small gas tank and all, and showering the area with shrapnel as SHOCKER quipped, “No, you shouldn’t have.” Right in time as he and Boomerang had to go diving to the side to avoid the blast radius of blown up car! The New York City Crowd, already out of range and used to such things, kept on snapping pictures.. But admittedly most of their attention was on the Amazon Face Off.

 Calling She-Hulk’s face off with Titania a ‘chick fight’ would come to mind more cockfighting as Titania bounced back up to her feet. “Well, then I’d better get you out of it!” Charging over towards Jennifer, intent on trying to pounce the girl with a savage Haymaker to the chin to try and smash her!

 Perhaps hoping to use the explosion and their dive to cover as a chance to get in position, all so much like a great chess game of conflict, Spider-Man tries to get just the right angle from his new perch atop the streetlamp, "You guys think the girls just aren't trying as hard with their patter? Yeah, me too." As he says this he lowers both arms taking aim and fires his web-shooters with nozzles turned to full, hoping to web the two crooks into place or at least slow them with a large spray of threads that slice across the air towards them. That hits, throwing the Emerald Amazon backwards, but she's on her feet in a moment and charging, this time trying to simply bullrush Titania back into the Titania Shaped Hole. Collateral damage? What's that? At this point, as the two Titanettes smash nito one another, Titania goes smashing over to the building, right through the hole as she gets hammered down over into it. At that point, she goes over to grab the falling light pole from the beginning of it, wielding the twenty foot tall traffic tower like a lance, charging towards She-Hulk, “Let’s send your fat arse to orbit, Gangrene!” Sigh. She still has a LOT to work on her trash talk.

 Also, Spider-Man is fairly handily able to web up Shocker and Boomerang up in two giant webballs which will hold them for now! Within, Boomerang is trying to get a razor-boomerang into place to try and saw out, and Shocker is trying to get his blasters to work at trying to shake off the webbing, but that would take the two of them quite awhile to do so.

 "Fat?!" Shulkie exclaims as she steps to the side and tries to grab the traffic pole. "At least I haven't had nothing but bad hair days for the last decade!" Yeah. Trash talk time. This IS being videod. This will be on Youtube within an hour and viral within three. A webline shoots out with a /thwip!/ as Spider-Man's almost instantly off that lamppost, darting across the way towards the brawling women. With his end of the conflict locked in place for the moment and hopefully the authorities might arrive in time to get ahold of them before they work free. Right now Spider-Man's priority is to try and back She-Hulk up... Yet when he cuts across the way, landing with a thip-thap upon the wall of that savaged building, he looks between one... and the other. No way in heck he's getting in between the two of them. He holds up a hand, "Umm, Jen. You uhhh." He winces at the impact ofone punch, then another. "Oh man, that... that looks like it hurt. You got this?" He asks, but then perhaps sees an opportunity and fires a webline just at the right moment to try and slice across Titania's shin and trip her up.

 Then again, getting in the middle of a –very- ill tempered She-Hulk and her personal nemesis Titania does not particularly make for a good lifespan, even by Spidey-s normal standards. And for the videotaping.. This is New York. If it’s not within a half hour on Youtube with a funky background beat and slow motion, she’ll be behind her normal schedule.

 Titania’s legs are caught over by the web line hitting her feet right as Jennifer grabs the other end of the pole, which results in it being yanked out from Titania’s hands, the other end of said pole smashing her over in the chin as her head goes up and down against it a few times like a bouncy ball! "Remind me never to get on your bad side," Spidey offers this comment towards She-Hulk even as he shoots a look back towards the other villains. He eyeballs the situation, making sure they're nowhere near to getting free, then looks back to She-Hulk and Titania, "I'd offer to web her up but that'd probably, you know, take like all my webbing and then how'd I get home? I don't have pockets in this thing." That having been said he drops to the ground.

 "Not sure she's out for the count yet." Jen approaches her nemesis rather slowly. "What did she do to her hair, anyway?" Yeah. Even with the villain out. "And she's mine to handle." It's tempting to throw her in the Atlantic. She can swim. At this point, as she gets up, Titania is not down for the count. Hissing at Jennifer, "DON'T. DISS. THE. HAIR." At this point, she goes to grab the nearest available large object.. In this case the front half of the building she was tossed into.. And moves to, if not interrupted, TOSS it back over at Jennifer and Spider-Man as hard as she can! Hey, she's not his to handle. Spider-Man sees the woman start to build up the swing even as she's lifting that huge mass of debris up. The wall-crawler is sure he's not at ground zero though, primarily by leaping straight _up!_ into the air. He flips over, end over end, then _whaps_ lands right on top of that huge rockwall she's attempting to hurl. "Hi, Titania. Just for the record, your hair's not that bad." And his arms snap out to the sides, both webshooters fire twin splats of webline towards the ground on either side of the giant rock wall. Ack. Okay. Hard to dodge building. Very hard to dodge building (unless your name is Spider-Man, which it isn't). Instead of dodging, Jen braces herself and brings both arms up into the falling building. She's AIMING to have it split and land either side of her, but will it actually work? And so, Titania was held beneath the two ends of the building, Spidey’s webbing anchoring it over to the ground with him on top, and Jen rushing forwards to hold it on front! The weblines anchoring her from heaving it, Jen braced in front, Titania struggled mightily, trying to use her greater strength to try and use it to slowly force Jennifer over ot her knees! Hissing, “Scream for me..”

 All the while, the citizens of New York were taking pictures, and one of the policemen that had herded them was watching Spidey, “He’s got a nice butt. Guy works out.” Even as a couple of other folks just –stared- at him, “Just saying.” In the roughly two minutes since Titania’s head had been made a bouncy ball on top of a giant pole, it had already been uploaded to Youtube with a musical congo beat, and gotten ten thousand views.

 Precariously perched precisely upon the perilous piece of plaster and permacrete, Spider-Man has an eagle's eye view of the situation. A quick consideration of the scene is taken, and then with a flicker of motion he's off the side and then lands in a crouch tothe side and behind Titania. He doesn't pipe up for once, not announcing his presence as he lets the villainess focus entirely upon her reverse tug of war with She-Hulk. He spends a few moments firing webbing at the woman's feet, and only then does he lift his voice. "So, Titania. Doing anything for dinner in say 5-10, 4 with good behaviour?" From the other end, "She doesn't know how to behave anything but badly." Scream? She-Hulk sounds angry...but also like she's enjoying herself. In fact, the only person who screams is Titania as Jen pushes the building facade right bak into her. "Thanks, Webs!" At this point, Titania is PANCAKED then as the crwod goes wild! At this point, cameras flash over as Titania goes down for the count, and the two other villains are still all balled up as a couple of cops give a casual salute to Spidey and Jennifer before approaching the incapacitated villains.

 "Annnd, that's my cue to mosey." Spider-Man doesn't seem too comfortable around the police, though he does stick around long enough to give them a wave and for a hint of a photo-op as the people with their phones take images of him standing beside She-Hulk withthe fallen villainess. Turning back towards her he offers a smile that's hidden behind the mask even as he offers her his hand for a shake, "Hey, no problem Big Green and Beautiful."