2014-01-26 - Fish Fry at Red Robin - Yum!

 King Tut gobbles a bunch of grapes before gesturing with his staff vaguely. He sneers, "So you thought you could just waltz in and shut me down Aquaman? Pfahh. We'll see how you are at breathing boiling oil. Nnnnngh begin the lowering my faithful subjects. Morshepsut! Bul-et-haid, HO! ... Morry, Bullethead, that's you ya morons! Let's have a fish fry."



 Suspended over the boiling oil in 5 inch chains Aquaman struggles against his bonds. As he begins to get lowered he says, "I don't suppose you believe in professional courtesy among kings?"



 Tut does a doubletake then snorts, "Nyahahahahaha. Let's see how talking to fish gets ya out of this one sea monkey!" Tut's moll clutches his arm and almost swoons, "I swear Tutty, I'm gonna blow chunks any minute. I don't wanna see dis." Tut dismisses her with a look, "Maybe you should have molled for the Riddler then, oh wait he only uses High School graduates. Watch this ya anile bit of fluff! Your Pharoah commands!"



 "Stop squirming," Red Robin mutters as she was working, or trying to work, on the bindings between them. As she does so she glances over her shoulder which doesn't allow her much of a view--Aquaman had broad muscular shoulders and compaired to him she was rather tiny.



 Raising her voice she calls out with feigned annoyance, "Man, I thought when you said we were going to see King Tut you meant the REAL one, not some poser trying to scam off his name. He's not even doing a good job at it! /Boiling oil?/ That doesn't even fit his shtick."



 The Mighty Pharaoh gets to his feet with a violent heave. His Queen Naht-put-aut is doing some violent heaving of her own in an ornate vase. "Silence bat brat. We'll see who is off schtick when I send your mummified and breaded corpse to that caped interloper.  Besides, it's too cold for my crocodiles. Gnaaaaaah for a tall dark and silent avenger Batman never fails to find a sidekick who can't keep their mouth shut!"



 He glares at Red Robin and then stops puzzled at her immobility. Turning to his henchmen he hollers, "Hey, you have to keep turning that wheel ya morons!"



 "We figured we should wait till you stopped monologuing Mighty Tut!," Morshepsut says returning to the wheel. "Shit. We use guns. He could spring for a winch. What are we, Amish?" Bul-et-haid nods vigorously.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> Aquaman smiles.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> "Right, right. Even the Joker manages to get sharks in the middle of winter. It's okay, it's cool. I get it. Hard to get crocs when you don't have a supplier. Or anything else vaguely related... but really did you have to tie me up with Aquaman? Do you have any idea how bad this is if his wife sees? Speaking of whom..." Red Robin lifts her head with a grin as she lifts her head to glance up and over, PAST the Pharoah with a cheery quip of, "Hello Queen Mera!"

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> "Swing," is uttered immediately under her breath to Aquaman as she kicks her legs out sending them swinging forward as soon as the idiots turn to look. Not much time, really, but it bought a second or two! Enough that she gets the momentum going. It's when they swing backwards that she's able to, with an exhaled breath and the knowledge this would be uncomfortable, swing her legs up to wrap around the chain above their heads. Her ankle hooks around it and she steps on the chain using it to gain some slack though it does press her head and neck uncomfortably back between Aquaman's shoulders in the process as she's folded in half. But it takes just enough weight off the chain that she gets an arm free. Step one completed.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> Naht-put-aut looks up from vase and yells, "Hey Tutty, they're escaping!"

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> Tut growls in a squeaky approximation of her voice, "'Hey Tutty, they're escaping!' Somebody left PBS on and you learned a big word didja? Minions! Gun them down and forget the schtick! Come my queen, I abhor violence. Boiling in oil is good clean fun!" The minions comply, stopping their turn of the wheel to grab automatic rifles. Tut opens the exit and seagulls come pouring in tearing at the villains.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> "Ngaaah. I hate birds. Shoot the feathered parasites down. Seriously West Nile violence is icky! You, you did this you orange clad slab of tuna. Ya big killjoy!"

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> Aquaman wiggles a bit and gets both hands on a link of chain. He continues swinging. "ANytime you're ready, Red!" He winces as the crooks begin shooting at the birds and miss badly.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> "Little thing called friction and long hair!" Red blurts out only to slip the other arm out and then she just... is gone. Flipping out of the loop entirely she's left upside down from the chain for all of a moment before she lets go. The momentum of the swing tosses her clear of the vat of oil, thankfully, and she tucks and rolls landing in a crouch. Most of her weapons were gone but no one ever thought to check the boots. Snapping her hands up a batarang is tossed toward one of the gun-toting goons aimed to hit right in the back of his palm. It wasn't a killing blow, so it fit the rules. Another snaps out, and then she's running for cover knowing that they'll likely try to turn the guns on HER next.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> Aquaman wasn't expecting Red to get free of the chains /that/ fast. He slips out too with the sudden slack and manages to grab the chain with his feet still a few inches from the boiling liquid. He jack knifes and lands safely on the floor.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> Tut however brandishes Arthur's own trident with murderous intent. The Pharoah wails, "OooOoooh the ignominity of having to fight my own battles. Nnnnnnghah. That feckless Catwoman putting half my gang on the injured list! May the fleas of a thousand camels infest her LEOTARD! I'm going to shish kebab you and then look that feline catastrophe up may Bast forgive me!"

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> The two goons continue shoting at the birds. Naht-put-aut, however lunges for Red Robin with a short spear. "Ain't no wannabee taking me in!"

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> Red Robin was, if anything, quick and efficient. Suddenly all the chatter and distracting banter that she had offered when she was tied up is gone in favor of looking rather seriously toward Naht-put-aut as she lunges for her with the weapon. Deftly side-stepping she reaches out to grab hold of the spear with her left hand while snapping her knee up toward the solar plexus of the girl unfortunate enough to get in close with her.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> Aquaman winces as Red Robin's knee holds a meeting with the moll's stomach. Naht-put-aut is thrown backwards. She lands by another vase and get to work filling that up. Arthur sidesteps the first clumsy thrust by King Tut and yanks the trident out if his hands, "Give that back tubby. Morshepsut and Bul-et-haid make for the exit shooting wildly.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> WHY they never take the belt, Red never gets, but it works to her advantage as she reaches down to pull a handful of gas pellets from her belt. They're lobbed after the pair and explode on impact to send the purple-tinged knock out gas pluming up into the air around them. Without waiting to see if it works she snaps her head over toward Aquaman to ensure he's okay--which he apparently is--before she heads over to Naht to quickly zip-tie the puking girl's ankles together. Not going anywhere but she wasn't going to hold her hair, either.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> As the two goons go down a soaring seagull writes a fitting end to this battle as it knocks a vase off a pillar to come crashing down on King Tut's royal head. The adipose scourge of the Nile goes down like a sack of doorbells.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> Aquaman stands over the twitching Pharoah who opens his eyes after a few moments. Tut fiddles with his thumbs for a moment and then says, "I did it again, didn't I?"

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> Aquaman nods, "Yep."

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> King Tut looks the Sea King over a minute and then says, "What? Batman was too busy?"

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:normal;font-family:Times;"> Red Robin walks over to join Aquaman regarding the downed individual with bemusement. "Yeah," she agrees with a small shrug as if such a complaint was of no matter. "Quit your complaining. We're prettier."