2015-09-20 - When Squirrels Attack

"I don't know!" Nico whines, not finding the squirrel and wondering if it went into the other rooms. "Chase won't let me under the hatch anymore. No idea why and I don't see the little bastard," she says as she reaches back to yank her skirt down to cover underpants. Not actively flirting right now, but there are standards to maintain.

The sound of chittering comes from the hallway, making Nico's head shoot up. "Aha! A clue!"

Molly's a pretty tough 13 year old girl. She's fought super skrulls. And the Wrecking Crew. And punched Wolverine 4 blocks and through walls. And once threw backwards a 60,000 ton skyscraper sized monster. But she never woke up with a squirrel on her face.

From Molly's bedroom, there's a loud "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!" followed by the sounds of furniture being overturned, then Molly running out of her room and getting on top of a table. "THERES A RAT IN MY ROOM! IT WAS ON MY FACE!!!!!"

"Chase is Chase," Chenda agrees, looking at the overhead consoles. No telltale tail-wagging going on up there, it seems. "I don't see him up in the rafters. Maybe he went down the..."

The squirrel's sudden chattering and Nico's cry of enlightenment point the way. "Sounded like it came from the main corridor," Chenda says, hurrying that way on her sock-clad feet. In slightly too-big pink tee and white undies, her long hair braided but mussed, she looks like she just woke up, and for good reason: She did. "Quietly now... if we spook him, he'll just run off someplace else," she whispers, stepping softly into the corridor proper.

Nico Minoru thinks there might be a clue as to what direction to look in. Possibly the screaming. "I don't know how to catch a squirrel, MOLLY! Don't panic, no wait, panic all you want, maybe it'll spook it this way..." She frowns, not sure which plan to go with, having no experience with rodent emergencies.

"Wait, we have rafters?" Looking up, she spots a brown streak passing through and flails. "Uagh! It's on the move!"

Molly Hayes yells, from the 'safety' of the table, "OH GOD DO YOU THINK I'M GONNA GET THE PLAGUE? EW EW EW I READ THAT RATS GIVE THE wait squirrel?"

"Does anyone have a laundry bag?" Chenda asks, wincing at the scream from Molly. She hurries to comfort the girl with a hug. "Or a laundry basket? Something light? We could throw it over it... poor Molls. It wasn't a rat, hon, just a squirrel. I think you're safe from the plague," she says, stroking Molly's hair soothingly.

She looks around, wincing again. "We definitely need something to catch it with. They don't carry plagues, but they /do/ bite."

Nico Minoru is trying to figure what direction to panic in. "We could just gas the entire place," she suggests as she dashes into her room for one of her...a couple of her pillowcases. "I don't actually think we own a laundry basket," she says as she returns, sealing her door TIGHT. "Squirrels bite? It's not a rat! It's ...why is a one pound animal giving us more trouble that Doctor Doom does?"

Molly Hayes runs over to the couch. "I think it went under the couch!" She picks up the couch, which causes the squirrel to run straight at Nico in a kamikaze squirrel run, chittering evilly, as all squirrels do.

"With Doctor Doom, you /know/ you're gonna get hurt. With a squirrel, you can avoid it if you're careful," Chenda fills in. "Plus, you worry about hurting squirrels. Doc Doom, not so much." Her hug ignored, she shrugs and hurries to back Nico up. "Watch out! I think he's in a bad mood!"

Nico Minoru reacts poorly to the attack. She falls on her butt and covers her head with her arms, as the squirrel climbs her for height and perches on her head and gets a terrified grip on her hair. Shaking, the little thing peeks out from Nico's locks and makes her freak out a bit more. "Guuuuaaaaaa....it's trying for my brain!"

Freaking out or not, Nico's a combat veteran. She holds still. "Somebody...."

"Shh..." Chenda hisses softly, watching the rodent and holding up a cautioning hand in the direction of the youngest member of the posse. "Molls, slow down and don't yell. I think he's at least as scared as we are. And I really don't want him going after Nico's brain!"

She takes a slow step forward, making soothing noises at the squirrel. "Nice furball... make nice-nice..."

Molly Hayes sneaks up on it all stealthy like. Like a ninja. Who hasnt yet had her morning soda, which is a good thing because it makes her only half as hyperactive as she usually is when she hasnt had her Extra Sugar-Filled Jolt Dew. "Shhhhh..." she whispers to Chenda. "We should talk in pig latin so it won't understand. Squirrels don't understand pig latin.... only squirrel latin." She says it with all seriousness. "Ou-yay o-gay at-thay a-way, and-yay i-yay ab-gray it-yay in-yay uh-thay illow-pay ase-cay, okay....ay?"

"Ight-ray," Chenda replies, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "I-yay ill-way ack-bay ou-yay up-ay if-ay ou-yay iss-may," she adds, lacking a pillowcase but having two perfectly good hands. "Eady-ray?"

Molly Hayes slowly approaches, then looks at Chenda and whispers, "at-whay? I-yay idn't-day et-gay at-thay."

Nico Minoru tries to hold still. She's being a good little comedy act, with a rodent in her hair just -waiting- for Chase to walk in and make a snide comment on how this proves that she's nuts. She starts trying to think of a good response, realizes that he's probably right, and sidelines it when everyone starts speaking pig latin'ish. Besides, boys are never right. Basic rule.

"I think it likes my shampoo. Ow, ow ow ow no, no, it likes my SKULL!" Hope she's not bleeding or this is about to get more interesting. Which is when the squirrel leaps off of her trying for escape, digging into her head with those little claws.

"Next time, let's stick to secret languages you understand, Molls," Chenda says. "I'll back you up if you miss. I think he's clueless anyway. Maybe he slept through English class in Squirrel School?"

She tenses as Nico cries out, waiting for Molly to leap. After all, she did say the girl could have first try!

Molly Hayes nods sagely to Chenda. "Good point. It looks like it's a bad student." she whispers. "Steady...." she says as she gets closer, picking up a pillow case as she does. "steaaaaaadyyyyyyy...." THen pounces with the pillow case, "YAAAA!" she yells with a war cry, catching the squirrel in the pillowcase. Along with Nico's head, which the squirrel is firmly attached to.

Little note about squirrels. They don't like getting caught in pillow cases. And flip the hell out when they do.

There's a little squeak from the bag as it goes over the two occupants. Which one is squeaking isn't apparent, but the rodent's response is noted most clearly not by the sudden flurry of activity inside. Nor by the twitching of Nico's hands. It's by the voice. Quite distinctive, and only happens when there's blood involved.

~When Blood is Shed, Let the Staff of One Emerge!~ Apparently Nico's pillowmate isn't being friendly. But the staff coming from her chest into her hands isn't a judgement, it's more of an automatic response to having your head attacked by a weed-whacker.

Chenda, hearing that cry, echoes it as she lunges forward... and gets spooked by the staff-chant, the thing knocking her aside as she grabs for the squirrel. She gets Molly around the waist instead. "Yaaah! I got him!"

Blink-blink. "Wait... this feels a little big to be a squirrel. And I don't think squirrels wear pajama pants."

Molly Hayes aughs! "STOP it's me! It's me!" she yells as she pulls the pillow case away from Nico's head. So Molly has the squirrel, and Chenda has Molly, and Nico has a headfull of scratches and a permanent case of sciurophobia most likely.

Nico lays on the floor, her hair a mass of snarls and her face a mass of scratches. Her eyes are closed, which probably protected one eye since there's a squirrel clawmark over the right one. And she's breathing calmly, which is probably due to her grandmother's training. But with her fingers white-knuckled fists, one clenched around the Staff of One, it might not be good to poke her.

"Stew tonight," she says, her lip bleeding. And her good eye opens carefully, just in case the thing attacks her again.

Molly Hayes looks in the pillow case. Fortunately, Molly has a pretty nigh-invulnerable face. Which she sort of forgot during the fear of getting bitten by rats and squirrels. "Yknow... it's.... sorta cute. Maybe we could keep it as a pet?" Molly obviously hasnt taken a good look at Nico yet.

Chenda hurriedly lets go of Molly, which only means that the girl's dislodged pajama pants fall down. "Um, Molls? I don't think Nico'd want it for a pet," she says softly, looking at her best friend on this ship. "I do think she wants... no, /needs/, a doctor. Which could be a problem unless she knows some healing spells." Chenda's never seen many of Nico's spells.

"I'd better get the peroxide and some clean cloths," she murmurs, hurrying for the odd ship's bathroom. "And maybe the phone book for free clinics..."

Nico Minoru is planning to keep it. In the stew pot. "Hold it still while I get a shoe," she says as she sits up. Ignore the staff, she wants to beat it to death while it's in the bag. Then is suddenly distracted by now. "Don't...think I'd use a healing on this anyway, Chenda," she says stoically. But mostly because she can't really see very well. But she's thinking, if she heals this, then she can't heal anyone else if there's a real emergency. Ever. "First aid kit's in the bathroom. And one in the cockpit. Two in my bedroom. Um...one under the couch. I think one in the kitchen..."

Molly Hayes looks at Nico with puppy dog eyes. "You're gonna kill it? But.... it's so little and was just scared. Please Nico? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?" And again with the big puppy dog eyes.

Richenda returns with the first aid kit and the bottle of H2O2 from the bathroom. This might be a long job. The puppy-dog eyes don't escape her. "Maybe we'd better let it go, you two. They make awful pets, and I don't think there's enough meat on him for much in the way of stew," she suggests. "We can always visit him in the park, if he hasn't gotten a bad case of Runaway-phobia."

Eventually, the squirrel lucks out and gets put out, and the work of patching up poor Nico begins. Maybe the rest of the day will be better.

Meanwhile, in Molly's room, a chipmunk pops his head out from under Molly's bed. *chitter chitter chitter!*

Dun dun dunnnnn!