2014-03-14 - Tony's Foot-in-Mouth Disease

Stressful times-- like the past several weeks, if not months, have been-- often call for simple pleasures. Jarvis is aware of this, of course, and after Natasha's session with Doctor Samson, had already planned on a lunch for Tony and Nat that qualified as such: fresh tomato basil soup, with a grilled cheese sandwich, crackers, chips, a pickle, a glass of milk. A simple, normal lunch, but one that might at least hearken some sense of normalcy.

The small kitchen table has already been set with such, at least when Nat walks in, still wearing her leather jacket, looking a bit worn. Apparently sitting in silence for an entire session was not allowed, and whatever the doc had managed to pry from her was not something she was entirely happy about sharing. Still.

Tony enters the kitchen, actually wearing sneakers and a wool jacket. He came from outside, as other than his time in his lab he doesn't hang out here anymore. He comes to work and sleep with Natasha, and then leaves when he isn't doing one of those two things. His life style has already shifted away from the Avengers in a noticable manner. Before he would disappear for long periods in his lab, but he would still wander to the kitchen for food at times, or watch television in the living room (especially sports), work out in the gym, and so on. He has even started to work out in the Hellfire Club's gym rather than the Avengers one. Independence from the Avengers, he is striving for it, and is finding he doesn't care much for it, not that he has talked about it to anyone.

"Hey Nat," Tony states. "I was told to get here for lunch?" He was apparently at the gym because his hair is damp from a shower as it isn't raining outside.

Natasha eyes the table, already set for the two of them. "It looks like it. I got the same instructions," she admits, though she does move to Stark's side and slide her arms around him in a quick, if not somewhat wooden, hug. "...and those cooling pies smell wonderful, too. Where did Jarvis get off to?" The aging butler was no where to be seen-- probably giving them a few minutes privacy, at least. She pecks Tony on the cheek. "Have a good workout?"

"Mmmm, hey baby," Tony says, hugging Nat back carefully. He seems more gentle these days as Nat starts to reall show. "It was alright, managed to actually get a bit of a sweat going. So Jarvis pretending to be you huh?" He kisses the top of Nat's head. "You feeling alright?" He sounds gently concerned.

"I suppose," Nat replies. "And my session with Doctor Samson is complete. Now you must attend one as well." She doesn't offer any details, of course, though she does slide into a chair, tugging a chip off her plate and crunching on it. "Are you? You have not been around very much. Bruce and Hank miss you-- apparently they are working on some sort of science thing, and..." she trails off, shrugging. Work, or play? For the 'science bros' of the Avengers, both? "And Thor is back from Asgard."

Tony makes a bit of a face at Doc Samson, "I'll get around to it," he says with a lack of commitment. "And I've been busy. Lots of research, been visiting parenting groups, and there was this one group that helps the guy help his girl through the labor stuff. It seemed pretty horrifying though, that one." He hrms, "So, is Thor's head on straight now? He was acting weird as hell before," and Tony goes to take a seat as well, half flopping down. "I'll also try and stop by to see Pym and McCoy."

Natasha shakes her head, looking at Stark with a sigh. "Parenting groups? Like on the television? What, do you walk in, 'Hello, I'm Tony Stark, and I'm about to be a father'? And they all 'Hello Tony', and you eat little pastries and drink coffee after?" She scowls a bit. "And as far as I am concerned-- I have been speaking with Dr. McCoy's friend, the OBGYN-- I am not interested in this... labor. Especially not twice. I am going to make arrangements to have the children removed surgically when they are old enough." Ah, yes, so... loving. And warm and motherly.

"Do you think it is wise, these groups? What if someone recognizes you? Also, some of the articles you've been inundating me with have contridictory advice." She takes a bite of the soup, then her eyes widen a bit, and she takes another bite. "Mm. This is really good. Anyway. The doctor says as long as I'm getting enough vitamins, I can eat really whatever I'd like. As long as I do not overdo the sugars." She scowls. "However, I am supposed to avoid stress. How am I supposed to avoid stress, I ask? Look at who I am. My life /is/ stress. I would not know how to not be stressed."

"No, it's more private counseling on it," Tony states, "Though there are group sessions but considering things are confidential right now I choose private counseling on it. They suggested I bring you next time," he states. He hrms, "Doesn't a C-Section have more recovery time? I mean, they cut through your muscles to get to your womb you know," Tony states curiously while also questioning.

Natasha gives Stark a pointed Look. "I have been shot, stabbed, and blown up multiple times. I have been stitched up, and a little muscle injury sounds infinitely more appealing than having... large children... shoved out through something I prefer to utilize for much more pleasurable things, Stark." She scowls. "I like... that area... as it is. And I intend to keep it like that." Probably a damned good thing Jarvis /isn't/ here, considering.

"Oh, that! You can actually get them to do some sewing and cosmetic surgery down there to make it like brand spanking new, better than it was before," Tony states. "That isn't a big deal." Nat gets an E-Mail to her Avengers Holo-ID Card then with the details of the 'like a virgin' surgery. Damn, he really does research this stuff in his free time! "Because you can't lift the kids and stuff if you get the C-Section for a while, it's why I'm hesitant over it," Stark states. "But if it's what you really want I'll support you."

Natasha looks at the information Stark just sent to her HoloID and facefaults.

"...Tony... you... looked... up surgery for me called 'Like a Virgin'?" That tone? It's calm. Quiet. Perfectly, totally in control.

And that's what makes the tone dangerous. "Is there a problem with what you are getting now?" she asks coolly.

"Oh, that's just the article name," Tony states, "Not the surgery name," he advises with a roll of his eyes. "And you were the one that stated you were afraid about the lack of tightness there after the kids," he grumbles as he eats a bite of his sandwich, not speaking for a few moments as he chews and swallows. He doesn't seem bothered by it, it's just medical information to him and he doesn't appear to take it (perhaps surprisingly) in a sexual manner.

"Mm, not just that, but the entire... process." Natasha makes a face. "I would rather be sliced on. The idea of it sounds far too unpleasant. I have seen these movies and things. Unless you are just dying to have me screaming at you how much I hate you while they are being born, mm?" She rolls her eyes as well, dunking her sandwich into the soup and taking a bite.

Clint hadn't exactly been /avoiding/ Avengers mansion, well, more that he was not going there unless he had to. So what you call it depends on your definition of avoiding. Anyhow he was here now, all Field Leader-y and stuff and about to head down to the sim room when the smell of pie hits him and he detours to the kitchen to scope it out. "Beast if you cook pies too, I may need to bump Jess off and date you myself," he calls into the kitchen before he spots Tony and Nat having a quiet moment together. "And wow, baby talk, great timing as always, sorry to barge in, I uh, smelled pie and needed to investigate," Clint says from the kitchen door.

Tony is at the Avengers Mansion to work in his lab and sleep, otherwise he is out and about. So the fact he is in the kitchen right now is rare as well, not that Clint likely realizes that. He is eating lunch with Natasha, and he chuckles, "Like I said, I'll support your decision." He hrms, "Don't worry Barton, we will spare you. Since Nat finds birthing truamatizing talk, guessing you would as well. It's just a human function to me, and it's why I fear women," he half jokes, perhaps to try and cheer Nat up. "I mean seriously, women can bleed for seven days and not die, then grow life within themselves and shove it out and survive it! Terrifying beings, women. I call it the power of the womb." He nods sagely at that.

"Hey nothing but love for women," Clint says as he walks into the kitchen and hops up to sit on the counter. "As Nat can tell you, but the whole bodily function thing, that I leave alone," he says to Tony with a smirk before he looks over at Nat. "They go, saved the city yesterday, you're all welcome by the way, though Finesse was the one to disarm the weird dimension bomb thing, got to give her a gold star or something. As for the school, things are good, heard about the sims you're running for Finesse and Adam, good stuff, thinking we should make that sort of thing mandatory, get them all working as team get a feel for how they fight together before it's life and death you know? Up to programming a few of those?" he asks her picking up on her need to be doing something. Why else would she offer like that? Then to Tony. "And thanks for the tickets to the Expo, the whole Academy will be there. Should be some fun."

"We really need to get more chips in the Mansion for you, don't we?" Stark's observation. He has apparently noticed. Which is odd, he isn't the type to seem to notice stuff like that. He is changing, but will it keep? But Stark then nods at Clint, "No problem man, glad to do it. I think a number of them will have fun, especially Finesse. She can scope out the competition," he says with some humor. "And some of her work in Stark Enterprises will be showed there."

Clint shakes his head at all the domestic bliss and hops off the counter. "Yeah, couldn't keep Finesse away from the Expo, and Adam is stoked about the video games. I am sure the others will have a great time too," he doesn't mention that Adam is all about the OsCorp video games. "Anyhow, got Avengers stuff to do, so I'll let you guys get back to talking about food and squeezing spawn out of Nat's vagina," he says with a smirk before he heads towards the door.

The new release of the Stark games will prove sooo much cooler anyway! Grrr!

Stark snorts at Clint, "He should check out some of the military defenses from Stark Enterprises there too, he will find them interesting I suspect, along with some of the medical." He then looks over at Nat. "Thanks. I had to clean up a lot of things when I got on the team finally. Pepper is busy with running the actual company, and the fact I wanted a Stark Expo was all me anyway. It....has been a long time." Since he lost Stark International actually since one was held, so years.

Natasha nods to Clint as he leaves. "Let me know when you want to discuss those sims-- I am game for programming them. I am glad the students have been trained well enough to help you save the city from... who was it?" She lifts a brow. As far as she knew, most of the usual suspects were in jail.

"Well I am sure he'll need some of that medical stuff," Clint says with a smirk over his shoulder at Tony. "Though the millitary stuff will be fun too. Going to let him play with any of it?" he teases. He turns then to Nat. "I'll send you the files on the rest of the team, should cover their abilities pretty well, show you what they might need to work on, anyhow hit me up later, we'll talk." Then he turns and heads out again.

Stark nods to Clint as the man leaves and returns to his sandwich. He then asks curiously, "Does it really make you uncomfortable, the thought of childbirth?" You know, sometimes Tony should think before he asks.

"I don't know, Stark," Natasha drawls with a lifted brow. "Think about yourself in the same position, and tell me you would be thrilled and happy about it."

A pause, then, "My pee hole is too small," he states in a kiddish voice, as apparently Tony's brain breaks at least a little and he stares at Nat with really, really wide eyes!

Nat facepalms. With both hands. "...And I am going to be raising two children with you how?"

"What?! You went there!" And then Tony is laughing, almost hysterically so. When he finally calms down, he takes a drink of his coffee, still grinning. "Oh...man, I needed that laugh. Nat, sometimes you take things way too seriously. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and I'm working on remembering that. Though it's going to be stressful trying to raise the twins, I want them to grow up knowing what it is to be loved, and what it is to have fun."

Natasha looks from the lunch-- when did hers get eaten? She must have been hungry-- back to the father of the two hellspawn already swelling her stomach. And she sighs, shaking her head at Stark. "You... find the strangest things funny, Tony." She gives him a small smile.

"Don't give me rope to hang myself then," Tony jests. But he is working on finishing his own sandwich, he barely got to eat any of his chips as Natasha polished those off. He doesn't complain however, she might murder him in a hormonal rage if he did anyway! He smirks lopsidedly. "I'll drive you nuts, but I do strive to make life more interesting and worth living."

Rising from her chair, she moves over to him and leans down, giving him a kiss. "More interesting for you means more explosions, I have discovered. Perhaps less interesting is best for a little bit," she teases, kissing him again.

Tony reaches up as he pushes a bit back from the table to tug Nat into his lap. He kisses back and mmmms. "I'm sure we will have lot sof boring things to do, don't worry," he says. "And I have the information for the panic room, I'll show it to you later down in the lab."

Natasha lets out a little meeping noise as she's tugged into Tony's lap. She nuzzles him a bit. "Mmm. Panic room?" she lifts her eyebrow. "If you insist... when would you like to look over these things?" She pauses. "Also, I have a... small request for the Expo."

"This evening would be good to go over them," Tony states. He then mmmms, "What is your request sweetie?" Tony watches Nat, wondering what she will inquire.

Natasha leans a little closer, intent on making this request quietly and in Stark's ear, lest they have any other unexpected drop-ins. "I had been looking at the maps-- there's a couple of small rooms, I assume either staging rooms, or storage closets." She lets out a quiet laugh, barely able to get to her request. "I have been to many of these sorts of things... conventions, galas, balls. Let us say I have a particular..." she kisses his cheek, laughing lightly. "Any chance," she tries again, "we might be able to sneak away for something during the Expo?"

Screech, halt, CRASH, SMASH! "I...umm...sure, I'm sure that is something totally irresponsible I would do. I should totally do that." Yep, Tony is surprised, but he is so not complaining it isn't funny! "Sometimes, it's good to be predictable...no one would question us slipping away," and he grins outright wickedly at that, and very happy Clint left, because he is so making out with Natasha right now!

"Mmph!" Natasha returns a few of the kisses, but tugs away from him a bit, though the wandering hands and the apparent approval may have her mind wandering down other paths too... "Mm, Stark-- Tony. I have another... mmm, appointment." Damn, she wants to blow it off and just allow Stark to carry her up to the bedroom, but she did say she would... "Do you want to look at the panic room later?"

A quiet hrm, "Sure, later, and what appointment? Want me to come?" Wait, Tony offering to go to a potential doctor's appointment about the baby?! Wow, he really is committing to this!

Natasha gives him another kiss. "No, I have to go by my apartment and handle a couple of things. Nothing with doctors again today," she pats his cheek. "Unless you want to distract me..." she teases him lightly.

A quiet mmmm, "Tempting, but if you are willing to have me, I'll help you out with your to-do list today," Tony offers. "You can distract me." Wait, and being helpful?! Wow, what is Nat going to do?!

Natasha can't say no to that-- this is what she wants, Stark to be less hiding in his lab, less insane, less...

"James has been staying at my apartment. I wanted to check on him, make sure he was doing all right." She kisses Stark's cheek lightly. "If you want to come with? It is just a social call."

A quiet hrm, "Alright, let's go see him then," Tony states. He smiles a bit at that, "I got information to share with him anyway." He moves to kiss your mouth. "Our second social call as a couple, how about that?" He's totally teasing Nat here.

Natasha shakes her head, chuckling. "You win, Stark. Let's go."