2013-03-31 - Getting the Band Back Together

At the New York Museum of Modern Science, something is happening. For Poison Ivy, it's simple - experimental plant spores. Unfortunately she had to team up with someone who's as subtle as a bag of rocks - Some small time super criminal called Diesel. Plus about 10 members of his gang. Mainly because she needed some extra muscle for this and he's dumb enough that she felt she can rip him off for his cut afterwards when he found they were there for plant spores and not some of the more valuable stuff. Unfortunately, he tripped one of the secret alarms, beat up 3 guards, and now the cops are outside, while he's holding them off at the entrance, yelling "NO ONES GONNA STOP DIESEL!"

Seriously, this is why she chose New York instead of Gotham this time. The Bat would definitely already be here putting them both in Arkham in Gotham. But here, at least she hasnt been spotted yet.

Meanwhile, the Thunderbolts have deployed two of their ... well lets call them agents... to the scene to get in, hopefully without the cops getting hurt. Through a skylight. Deadpool and Harley Quinn, and a handler for them. Harley's told to check the east end of the museum, while Deadpool is supposed to handle the west end, then come back to try to take out Diesel at the entrance.

Deadpool is currently walking along, or rather riding. He's found one of thsoe awesome mini-scooters, and is happily wheeling it around, singing, "I want to ride my bicycle! I want to ride my bike!" He's going around one end, singing over as the mini-scooter drives him along through one end of the museum, heeing over as he does so, "Hello pretty boys! Come out wherever you are! So I can beat you up and make you totally not pretty!"

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100112181903/marvel_dc/images/b/b4/Diesel.jpg

This had been all to awkward to Poison Ivy. First the company was terrible, and this dreadful Diesel was very close to earning a vicious beating for this behavior. But still, Ivy did need to go through with this. Like all addicts or people in trouble she had promised this to be her last time, knowing, deep down, that some habits are very hard to overcome.

Three guards later, all three whom Ivy carefully sedated after they fell, so these humans won't feel much pain, she is almost at her objective when the noisy goon trips over an alarm. How pathetic. Bailing her hands into fists Pamela tries to concentrate on her goal, although her fury rises quickly and her eyes close. Why had she even bothered with this kind of 'help'?

Deadpool went to the east wing, while Harley took the west and the Thunberbolts agent that's been saddled with these two nuts is keeping a watch on Diesel. Harley spots a shadow moving down a hallway and summersaults in, pulling out her gun and yells, "HA! FREE- Red?" she says in mid-sentence, blinking. "Hey! Whacha doin here Red? Didja escape again?" Okay, she sort of already forgot that she's on a mission. To stop the people who are robbing this place. Which is the aforementioned 'Red'. Aka, Poison Ivy. aka her bestest friend ever who never throws her out windows or shoots her or tosses her into tanks with pirahna or throws her out of a plane without a parachute as a distraction for the Batman.

Deadpool has gotten over into singing 'The Internet is for Porn' along the commlink as he went along over on his motor scooter, then paused, "Why hello happy family reunions!" Wade went to turn around his scooter, clicking off the part of the commlink that would be broadcasting back to Waller.

There's certainly a puzzled look on Pamela's face as she looks directly at her friend, her mind taking a bit to actually record what's going on "Harl...? What... are you doing here?", the dumbfolded expression shifting into a pleased smile as Poison Ivy approaches her dear friend, tilting her head a bit as she walks, that sway present despite her intentions with the loud criminal blonde being far from lascivious.

"Is the Joker here? Or... are you all alone?", the villainess asks hopefully, a smile on her lips, the noisy goons an afterthought by now as Harley permeates her thoughts completely, even the possibility of another period together with Harley more attractive than jail was repulsive.

Harley Quinn blinks. "Oh no." when she's asked if she's alone. "Um.... no, not alone! Not alone at all. Geez louise!" she looks around to see if the other two she came with hare here. "Okay we gotta get you outta here fast, Red! Can't have you getting sent to the pokey!" She grabs Ivy's hand and tugs.

Deadpool's voice comes over the communicator that would hopefully be at Harley's side, "So, what is this about the pokey? And don't worry, I'm sure I can fit it in." Deadpool could be heard trundling along on his scooter, "So, all we got on this end is one z-list villain, so I think we're set. Can we get it on now? Pretty please with sugar?"

Harley Quinn pushes Ivy away before Deadpool comes by on his scooter wanting to be the one to take out Diesel. She takes her hammer off her back and swinging it right into Deadpool's face JUST as he scoots around the corner before he can see Ivy. Then Harley runs over to Ivy, and pulls her along in the opposite direction. "Okay long story short I'm sorta a superhero now so that I don't get sent back to Arkham and I ain't lettin my best friend get pinched on my watch!" She pauses as she runs with Ivy. "That was my partner. He's a real wack job."

Wait Harley thinks someone ELSE is a wack job?

There was a time, a time Pamela barely remembers, when she would have thought what just happened to be bizarre and outlandish, but ever since living with Harley and dealing with her so much it is safe to say Poison Ivy has seen her dose of weirdness. Besides, Harley can't feel a single tug from Pamela at her hand, as usual, the plant-controlling woman unresisting to the blonde's schemes.

"A superhero?! Harl... you must start making more sense soon, or I'm afraid we might have to go back! I need that money to start my life anew!", Ivy says before looking back at the hammered man "Is he dead?", she asks a bit worried, her shoeless feet making no sounds as they follow

As Deadpool spun around the corner, he was met with a *WHAM* to the face. Hitting him hard over in the chin as he let out a whimper, going splat as his face wnet flat. The Scooter toddled off over to the side as Deadpool went unconscious, starting to stir a moment later, "Aunty Em? Is that you with Bea Arthur?" Stars flying in front of his face, "And holy reoccuring gags.."

Harley Quinn runs with Ivy down one hall or another. "Not sure it matters, he keeps comin back to life. I once throew a grenade down his pants and it didnt take." At least they took out the cameras before entering. At ont point, Harley stops running and looks at her friend. "Okay here's the sitch Red, ya know how you always tell me that I shouldnt be with Mistah J? Well, the government nabbed me on somethin while I was with him and they offered me an out. Said if I started workin for them, they'd give me a sand bill of health and all that. And you know I'd never betray my puddin, but then they showed that he was tryin to send me up the river for a lightened sentence so I said 'That's is Harl.... you ain't gonna be a punchin bag for Mistah J again. This time you're gonna screw him over first!' And so now I'm like a hero and I get to do all the stuff I did with Mistah J but without Batsy always catching me and throwin me back in the funny farm clink!"

Holy Run on Sentences!

Harley then says "But I ain't gonna let you get arrested, Nuh uh!" Then she starts pulling Ivy again to run, stopping short when she sees the agent handler facing off with Diesel. "Eep!" and then pushes Ivy and herself back behind another wall before they're spotted.

As Harley says so Ivy wants to believe that she is going to end that cycle of abuse and that finally her friend has seen the light and is standing up to that disgusting, small man. And yet, Pamela has seen this show before, and with a smile that shows she is grateful to be getting Harley's help and is somewhat lessened to know this is not going to last, Poison Ivy runs the back of her hand along the woman's face, feeling her warmth once more.

"So. You are working for the government...", Ivy smirks "This is precisely why I do not vote. Should I lessen my poison to look... a bit normal? Would that help, if you want to make a run for it?". As she inquires to Harley about a plan she is sure the blonde has, but might not be able to explain, Pamela looks around, looking for clothes to use or ways to escape.

Deadpool was rubbing over at his face, "And holy expository monologue.." Deadpool went to slowly roll up and over, "And here I thought I was going to be starring in a Bendis title. Look, they say show, don't tell.. But given we're interacting in a textual based medium and otherwise you'd be having to use signs on sticks, I think I can excuse it." Deadpool looks up at her, and over at Ivy, "And don't worry, the only place she'd end up would be an aborotoreum." Deadpool isghs, and goes to crack his head back over into place and adjust his mask, "Yeah, that'll do."

Harley Quinn shakes her head. "No, I can't go makin' a run for it! I sorta ... threw a grenade at Puddin on a past heist he was doin while workin' for these guys and I think he's still gonna be miffed at me if I go back to Arkham." She pauses. "Hey! I got an idea! How about you start workin for this group too! It'll be great, we can be partners again!"

Harley gives Ivy a hug. "Just like old times but without having to run away from the Bat all the time!" She pauses. "Would you be okay with screwin' over Chuckles at the door though?" Harley asks as she leans out around the corner to look at Diesel yelling threats at the agent as he is firing at him and taking cover as Diesel is hurling explosive gas bombs.

Unlike Harley, who hugs Ivy as she just bumped into her gal pal at the Shopping Mall, Ivy clings to her friend a bit more, easily distracted from the outside world, her nose buried into the blonde's shoulder, eyes closed. As soon as Harley separates, however, Pamela forces herself to focus, listening to her partner's plan and especially the 'we can be partners again' part. Nodding, Poison Ivy turns to Diesel, narrowing her unnatural eyes.

"Oh... that shouldn't be a problem...", she says with some amusement, all the excitement of being with Harley once again mixing with her despise of this male, the leaves around her body turning into thick vines as they slide around her arms and touch the ground, forming great roots that follow Poison Ivy as she walks towards Diesel.

Deadpool was going over now to walk around the corner, "And speaking of that, I've gotta stop monologuing when no one is present.." Rubbing over at his face, Deadpool went to stumble along the corner, "She's a cute girl. Though she's really going to need a sidekick if she's gonig to do it properly over in this day and age." OF course, Deadpool would walk aound the side to where Harley would no doubt be halfway freaking and then going to hammer again, playing his role of Judy to her as PUnch.

Harley Quinn peers out the corner, "Okay, so you take out that Mr Boffo over there and then we can shpiel to the bigwigs about how you saved the- One sec." She pulls out a concussion grenade from her bag when she hears Deadpool about to round the corner and throws it. It lands right by his feet and explodes!

Harley pauses. "Where was I?"

Taking a knee before approaching her target Poison Ivy runs her her fingertips along the marble, murmuring softly as if she was tending a baby "I was expecting to leave you of this, my lovelies, but mommy might need some assistance with some garbage this world does not need anymore. So wake up, and follow me...".

First thing Pamela does is whistle at the warring man, taking one step at a time, her skin taking yet another shade of green, her poison at full effect, her appearance at the same time alien and alluring. "Diesel, dear, I'm afraid our business are concluded. Time for me to go good, and for you to go green...", her voice calm as Ivy witnesses the man's reaction to the rumbling ground and the deep cracks forming beneath his feet.

"Last time for a peaceful surrender, meat sack."

Another grenade goes down Deadpool's pants by the expert throw of Harley, only to detonate over as Deadpool lets out a howl, "No Mister Winky! Dammit I thought I was.." He sighs and looks over at the smoldering fire of where his pants used to be, grumbling over as he goes to tie them up to try and remain decentw hile muttering about how this was supposed to be a PG scene.

With the agent unconscious from the gas bomb, Diesel looks at Ivy with confusion, "What are you talkin' about Ivy! You double crossing me or something?" Yes, Diesel might be muscle and explosive... but he's slow on the uptake. Harley runs over to the agent to make sure he stays alive, since they'll need him alive to show that Ivy was the hero here saving a government agent of the Thunderbolts.

"...You make any kind of empathy for you very hard.", Poison Ivy admits almost with a groan, completely prepared to deal with a smarter kind of person, and instead being presented with Diesel. "Just promise me not to fight back much.", she adds before the ground under him crumbles and breaks, finally, several gargantuan vines forcing their way into the room, each easily as thick as a human being, capable of wrapping themselves around one many times over. Thing is, Ivy makes sure to put them behind the villain, sure he will react to the most obvious threat, allowing Pamela to sneak upon him, and take him noiselessly.

As noiselessly as giant vines would allow this to be already.

Deadpool looks up over then as he tries to put his pants back together, "Give me a few moments, okay! Look, this is just one of those days!" Wade harrumphs and continues with trying to tug them up, "And haven't you been sued out of existence by a guy named Vin? And I know I'm in another room already!" Deadpool groans, and shakes his head, "Uhm, Harley? Hon, I know if I call you puddin you will inflict greater harm upon me than you already have and I will like it a lot.. Wait, I'm not going and doing a very good job of talking myself out of this, am I?"

Diesel is startled as he realizes that she IS double crossing him as, unbeknownst to him, the giant vines shoot out of the ground behind him. "Why you little rat fink! You want to make it like that, I'll burn down this whole building and all your little plants too!" He then shoots out some gas from his hands - the extremely flammable type to start filling up the front lobby of the museum ... then goes for his lighter!

Harley, meanwhile, is slapping the agent's face. "Wake up you need to see this! Diesel's gang blew up Deadpool but my friend's fightin' him! Wake up... OH COME ON WAKE UP ALREADY YA JOIK!"

"I am entirely surprised by this lack of... self preservation you are showing, although I had a suspicion your kind of person was never meant to breed anyway...", her voice amused and head shaking, the fiery mane of reddish hair swinging behind her back. With a grin Ivy doesn't even move before two of the brute's arms are tightly bound by her vines, wildly and noisily swinging behind the said villain, who is utterly ignoring them.

"You know... it will be my pleasure to be natural selection, just for you...", her voice more menacing as those vines start to force the villain up and off the ground, tightening their grip until it hurts.

Deadpool slowly comes around the corner, giving a wave over at the mention of his name, "oh, wait, I'm supposed to be knocked out? Give a sec." Deadpool rummages around, coming over with one of Harley's spare mallets (after all, she had HAMMERSPACE) and then goes over to swing it backwards to konk himself on the back of the head as Harley went on with agent handy. With a resounding *THWACK* his head spun around a hundred and eighty degrees and he tumbled once more.

Diesel's hand is about to go for his lighter when vines grab tboth arms, keeping him from being able to light up the entire room in flammable gas! Then the other vines start twisting around the small time, very loud and bullheaded villain.

Meanwhile, Harley is trying to slap the agent awake, then sees Poison Ivy might be about to kill Diesel, so she then slaps the guy hard just as he's about to come to.... knocking him out again. Then when she sees Deadpool knock himself out in order to keep with the theme of him being oblivious in this scene, Harley runs over to Poison Ivy and whispers in her ear, "Red, if ya kill him they won't let you join! Gotta just knock him out! Pleeeease? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?"

"I am -not- killing him at all, Harl... I... I am trying new things. Where do you want him to be?", Poison Ivy asks, those distant, poison-green eyes shinning as she analyzes the situation. She could kill this man, break every bone in his body. He is obviously unworth of his breath, and yet, Pamela squints her eyes as if she had a migraine, and just wraps him completely in her children's arms. She might not kill him, but that doesn't mean she needs to hear him. As she sets the villain on the ground, wrapped in her plants, Pamela then walks to the man Harley knocked out, briefly caressing her friends' cheek tenderly.

"This is the man that needs to see my... heroic deed?", Ivy muses, raising a hand and bringing one of those large vines closer, it's tip splitting to reveal a yellowish core, luminous. "I can wake him up with my children's nectar. It would wake up anything."

Deadpool looks up and over, having just knocked his head off and over to the floor as his body tumbles over to the side, "I'm helping! And kinky. Also, it really helps if you hvae a good bit of lube ahead of that sorta thing. Otherwise it leaves stretch marks." His body fumbles over on the ground, grabbing his head up and moving to tug it to pop back in place over on his neck, "Also, if you're going to do something like that, I suggest you put Mister Hand Me Down over to lala land of a more permanent nature just so Waller won't come a bongoing."

Harley Quinn nods. "Right-a-roonie! That's the guy. I'll go wake him!" She grabs the core after Ivy removes it, and flips backwards until she's by the agent. She takes a sniff of it herself as well and widens her eyes. "WOO! THAT'LL PUT A SPRING IN YOUR STEP BOYO!" She pauses and looks over at Deadpool as he's rambling on about.... something or another. "Whatta nutbar."

Then she yells, "Wakey wakey, eggs and bac-ey!" And shoves the nectar under the agent's nose.

Which immediately causes him to wake up, "Wha? What's going on?"

Deadpool calls out, "Batman's getting it on with Burt Ward! Oh the pre pubescent short shorted humanity!"

Tilting her head to the side Pamela looks at Harley, and wills herself to lessen the toxicity of her own blood, the intense shade of green in her skin lessening until Ivy can assume her rosey-colored tone, more human and less threatening, even if she remains clad in her leaves, which slowly cover more of her until they form her classic swimsuit, Pamela now fully human and presentable, complete with her crown of leaves over her head, even if she remains bootless.

"I guess the heroes saved the day?", Ivy asks somewhat in doubt of the tone she should be setting for her deed. "Dr. Quinzel will explain more eloquently, I am sure."

Deadpool slowly gets up, after having no doubt given the agent nightmares that will not go away, no matter the amount of therapy, before turning over to extend his hand over to Pamela, "Welcome to the team. If it makes you feel better I can put on one of those outfits too if we're gonna hvae a girls night out. You may have to threaten Deathstroke to put one on too, he cna get kinda cranky if he has to put on women's underwear."

Harley Quinn curtsies. "With pleasure. Some of Diesel's gang kept blowin' up Deadpool and then Diesel knocked you out. And my good friend Poison Ivy saw us fightin' Diesel and came to the rescue. She's turned over a new leaf and wants to be heroes like us!" She pauses, "Get it? LEAF?! Turned over a ..." She nudges Poison Ivy. "He doesnt get it does he?" She then looks at Deadpool, then Poison Ivy and murmurs, "I could hit him with a hammer again?"

Ivy would have despised that joke with anyone but Harley telling it. Swirling that golden hair around her finger the redhead simply smirks and shrugs "I don't know what he is, or how he is, but if he is not dead yet, Harl... Then I am sure he can take one more, just to make sure you got it right.", her eyes cast upon the handler, wondering if he needs a kiss to really agree with this whole thing. It is, after all, just a little kiss.

Deadpool looks over at Harley, "Eh, it's a running gag, so might as well." Deadpool goes to pick up one of the hammers, then goes to hand it over to Harley, "We've all gotta have hobbies. I suppose we can share some of them later." He went to cross his arms, then look down at the agent, "Is his flesh supposed to be that color?"

Harley Quinn shrugs a little awkwardly. "I dunno." She then hugs Ivy and gives her a big kiss on the cheek. Mwaaaah! "Partners again! You're gonna love Fatwoman" (ed note: Amanda Waller) "and Grumpymaskman" (ed note: *sigh* Deathstroke) "and Shooty Guy" (ed note: That would be the Punisher) "and Toothyman" (ed note: Or as normal people say, Venom) "...and ..." Harley really needs to learn people's real codenames instead of making up her own as she rambles on while the cops come to apprehend Diesel. They also raise their guns at Poison Ivy also to arrest her, though it's followed by Harley screaming, "Don't shoot don't shoot!" and getting in the way, "She's a good guy now! Cross my heart!"

The agent flashes his credentials and talks to one of the cops about how 'he'll handle this,' before they head back to Thunderbolts HQ with one prisoner and one new recruit.