2013-09-10 - Clowning to the Max

It was a late, muggy weekday in New York. Dusk had not quite set. But the Brooklyn streets had been beset by a heavy fog of bugs flying everywhere as the Cicaidas had been blooming, and so people were miserable. At this section of the city, traffic for several blocks was being held up by a giant parade of circus animals going down in something impromptu as several blocks had been fenced off. A dozen or so elephants had lined up, being ridden by a group of brightly attired types, and the elephants had giant loudspeakers on thier backsthat were broadcasting an almost hypnotic mantra then as they went through the lower downtown traffic.

"I hate the circus," Clint grumbles behind the wheel of his 1970 Dodge Challenger. Not the one he bought from Cherry, that one is somewhere out in the Atlantic, a new one but pretty much the same car. He's stuck in traffic like all the other folks in Brooklyn, waiting for the elephants to pass. Adjusting his shades a bit he takes a look out at the passing elephants (it says something about his life that this is less than exciting for him) and spots a familiar face under a big top hat. "Oh come on, you've got to be /kidding me/ I'm not even Avengering right now." He leans into the back seat and grabs a big duffle bag and pulls it into the front seat with him.

Asia's pretty immune to you know hypno rays well minus the ones by Ivy, but her sitter is not, and this turned out to be a nice day out and well it didn't. Asia she frowns looking at the Elephants. "Dis aint good." she looks at the Zombie that was her sitter. Now she wishes she remembered how to use the stark phone, but you know there's too many episodes of Muppet Babies to catch up on first.

The Zombie Sitter was hoping Asia was going to nap and but Asia kept saying 'No Sleep Till Brooklyn' and well here we are. Asia's still awake, the sitter is kinda zombied out.

"Nelly the elephant packed her trunk, and ran away to the Circus!" Currently oblivious to who the circus actually is, Jen is singing that...rather too loudly...as she heads down the street towards the Parade of Heffalumps. (Fortunately, she's not Bruce, or that hypnotic calmness might have unfortunate effects rather rapidly). Oh, and of course she has ice cream. Of course.

Carol Danvers had been wandering around Brooklyn when she noticed the cordon set up by the parade. Ducking into an alley, she transformed her street clothes into her Captain Marvel uniform and then took to the air. She zipped around to make it less obvious that the lady who went into the alley isn't the woman flying out again. She ends up drifting over the elephants. "Really? In the middle of the city?" she asks the Circus of Crime.

As the elephants wnet to swing around, sitting atop the front of them was the leader of the Circus of Crime, the Ringmaster. Chanting, "Now all you be good sports, and give up what you've got." Not aware of the approaching heroes then, as a group of ninja clowns stalked around, the people over in several blocks starting to shuffle along and take out thier wallets, checkbooks, and jewelry then.



         the ninja clowns paused, upon seeing the Savage She-Hulk. Then went into poses from 'Kung Fu Fighting' before charging Jen, swinging an array of Clappers of DOOM at her!



         Seeing Captain Marvel, Cannonball called out, "Yo Boss, we got heroes!" Going to quickly leap over into a portable cannon wheeled by a pair fo gorillas in clown makeup to be fired up and over into the air at her!



         Meanwhile, as Hawkeye swung around in his car, caught up in traffic, he was spotted by Teena the Fat Lady and the Fire Eater, who went to charge towards him!



         And meanwhile, MIss Asia with zombie sitter came face to face with an evil looking clonw, with evil clown makeup, grinnign down at her, "Hey Twerp. You look lik ea good hostage.."

Clint turns around in time to see Teena and Fire Eater heading his way. "Oh crap!" he says and pushes open the door ready to tuck and roll. Then the mantra hits him like a combination of the light FM and Nyquil. "Nope, nope, nope," he says slamming the door closed and looking around desperately for something to shut out the noise as the bad guys close on him. "Sooo glad I'm not deaf anymore," he mutters until he finds what he's looking for.

<p class="MsoNormal">Captain Marvel notes the cannon pointed at her and crosses her arms over the star on her chest as she waits. As the Human Cannonball flies at her she blurs out of the way, just to one side... but she reaches out to snatch the villian's arm, meaning to use his own momentum to fling him back at the gorillas below. She doesn't want to murder him, so she doesn't bother to add anything to the throw.

<p class="MsoNormal">She-Hulk acks. "Oh, for...I'm off duty, you idiots," she informs the clowns, before she wades in, fists first, bent on knocking as many of them out as possible. "You know. I'm not even scared of clowns. I like clowns. But you guys are..." She punches at a clown's red nose. "...missing the entire point."

<p class="MsoNormal">So there's a clown in front of her who wants to kidnap her. "Ah think you'd be good for stabbin'" and she pops her little tiny claws and well goes to try to stab the clown! Stabbity stab!

<p class="MsoNormal">For poor Clint's car, the fat lady did sing as Teena went over into a tumble, Clint likely able to get out of it in time before the front end was flattened, right after the Fire Breather spat a sword made out fo flame towards it, "How ya like them apples punk?" Up on the lead mind controlling elephant, the Ringmaster let out a virtuoso styled giggle, twirling his mustache.

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<p class="MsoNormal">         What did one call a gropu of clowns? A gaggle? A troup? For Jen, they seemed to be a smackdown then as she gave th eclowns a clapdown. Gonig her way through them as she sent them flying, large numbers of humiliating hwoopie cushion like noises coming as she wasnext face to face with a mean looking Gorilla in a top hat.

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<p class="MsoNormal">         As Captain Marvel went to catch the Human Cannonball and twirl him around, he went flying and smashing down hard into the ground. Head stuck a few feet down, ass and lightly kicking legs flailing up above the ground. Then leaping towards Carol were a pair of Italian trapeze artists, wielding a garotte wire between them as they flipped up and towards her!

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<p class="MsoNormal">And poor Evil the Clown. Poor Asia has just given him a stabfoot. He begins to dance around, hopping around wildly on one giant honking clown shoe as he howls, "You little #$#!! $##! #651#!!" Such language!

<p class="MsoNormal">     Okay, back to tuck and roll! Clint bails out of the car wrapped around his duffle bag and comes out on his feet, just in time to watch his get lit up with a fire sword. "Hey! Stop that I just got it waxed!" he grabs an arrow from his bag and in a fluid motion taps it hard against the ground and throws it at car, a few seconds later it should explode with fire-retardant foam and if some of that gets Tomas the Fire Eater, so much the better. While that goes on Clint sticks some earbuds in his ears before the hypno-mantra of doom gets him.

<p class="MsoNormal">            A quick burst of energy and the wire should be melting. That should send the acrobats flying as well, even if they will recover. "Careful, now. Do you people have a permit for those elephants?" Captain Marvel asks, but it's something of a joke. Of course they don't.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lots of clowns. Jen actually tweaks the nose of the next one, pulling it all the way off and letting it twang back...with enough force that it knocks the Killer Klown out. "When I said send in the clowns, I had something quite different in mind." She swings backwards, stepping on a clown shoe and tugging it all the way off of its wearer's foot. He's now hopping around, it being VERY hard to walk with only one clown shoe on!

<p class="MsoNormal">Asia smiles at the cursing clown and then stabs him again in the thiegh,which causes him to scream some more, he steps back with his honking shoes until he runs into an elephant and is trambled. Squash goes a clown. ASia giggles and sees Carol and starts to wave. "Look Elephants!" she says happily.

<p class="MsoNormal">As the various bad guys go kaput, and the heroes take them down and go to town, the Ringmaster lets out a howl as the elephants begin to seize up, "You fools! What did I warn you about all this monkey business!" Glancing down then at the crowd of clowns starting to flee, and the various other animals part of the circus threatening to stampede! "No! Bow before my all inspiring power!" His eyes flashing, trying to disorient the heroes over with his mind controlling top hat! 'Figure all the other baddies are down.

<p class="MsoNormal">His car now merely smoldering he Clint gets down to business. He produces his bow which obediently slaps open and he sends a second extinguisher arrow Tomas' way. "Cool off," he quips before he turns to Teena and fires off a pair of Taser arrows to put her down.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Of course, she lands on the car.

<p class="MsoNormal">   Then it's the Ringmaster's turn, he turns toward him and immediately regrets it puts him right in the way of the top hat's effects. "Crap," he mutters and lets fly with a blunt arrow he produced from his bag. It's aimed at the top hat, but with the hypno-whammy on Clint, he's not on his game and Ringmaster or his elephant is just as likely.

<p class="MsoNormal">Disoriented She-Hulk? Bad news. Flailing wildly, she takes out a clown car, a lamp post, and a perfectly innocent fire hydrant - which starts to spray water all over the street - before getting it together enough to charge the ringmaster's general direction. She's likely to hit one of the other elephants. Oops.

<p class="MsoNormal">Captain Marvel swoops down towards She-Hulk. "Whoa!" She intends to land and grapple with the green-skinned heroine... this should be interesting. "Slow down, there!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Asia skips over to Captain Marvel and She-Hulk with a smile, she's tiny green with claws. She's ready for anything. "Hi girls!" she says happily.

<p class="MsoNormal">As the Avengers struggle over with the Ringmaster's Hypnotic onslaught, the dancing elephants nearly send him tumbling and turvying as water sprays up everywhere. Then, the blast of water, directed by the fountain or not, sends him tumbling off the top of the elephant,hitting the ground and springing up to his feet, hat flying the other way!

<p class="MsoNormal">The hat gone Clint is back to his senses and launches a net in an arcing path towards where the Ringmaster has fallen. He tugs the earbuds out of his ears and looks towards the gathering of women heroes plus the plant girl. "Everyone alright?" he asks as he snaps a Taser arrow out of his bag and advances towards where he saw the Ringmaster fell.

<p class="MsoNormal">Captain Marvel will miss utterly as Jen pirouettes out of the way...and then the Ringmaster falls. "Ugh. I think I was seeing about four of him." Without the top hat's effect in direct line of sight, she's back to being in more, well, control of herself.

<p class="MsoNormal">Asia watches Jen piourettes and tilts her head. "are you okay?"

<p class="MsoNormal">The hypnotic effect of the Ringmaster's mental spell is broken as he's bagged and boarded by Hawkeye's arrow, after taking a tumble and a rumble down to the ground, the arrow-net completely binding and constricting him like he was a snake charmer all wrapped up. Calling out, "I would have gotten you miserable Avengers if it hadn't been for that little kid too! And I'll get you next time!" Then going over into a coughing fit as his mustache was shoved up his mouth by the tightness of the net, and the police were slowly coming in to deal with animal control and arrest the Circus of Crime.