2014-02-14 - Valentine's Day Almost Massacre

Valentine's Day. Love's in the air with couples everywhere. Except at the joke toy factory where Joker and his gang are currently using as a HQ. "Harley!?" Joker calls out. But no response. One of Joker's thugs says, "Don't you remember boss? Harley's not around no more." Joker slumps. "Oh yeah... Just not the same here without my Harley. It's just no fun to hit you guys or throw you out of a window or shoot you..." he says as he points an oversized gun at the thug. The thug's eyes widen! "Uh... but we can get a new Harley, right?"

Joker's eyes light up. "You're right Beppo! That we can do!" He goes over to one of the other thugs with a magazine, and yanks it out of his hands. "And I have just the perfect place to find lovesick losers who would fit the bill!" he says, pointing at the article about a speed dating service at La Boeuf Petit, a french restaurant which hosts the mixer every Valentine's Day.

Then he shoots Beppo, and looks at his other thugs in his gang. "Cmon boys! We're gonna go get a new Harley!"

He says as he runs out the door, leaving the other thugs to look at each other, realize 'hey, at least it's not them' and follow him.

-

Oh love is in the air for sure more so when your around the lovely couple Ebony and Amria. They walk in Ebony arm around Amria holding close to her. The couple is not alone they have a welcome third wheel Dilana. They heard about the speed dating and Ebony thought this be great way to get her team mate some love and a little TLC if she gets lucky. She signs Dilana for the speed dating and she and Amria sit at the bar watching well maybe not watch more like they looking in her direction whould being in there own lovely dovey world.

Amria smiles quietly watching the bar as she sits, she orders a shirley temple and grins at Dilana. "So Speed Dating?" she asks curiously.

In walks Joker with about 6 large thugs dressed in tuxedos - the blue type with the frilly cumberbums - because hehe - 'bum.' One of them has a television camera. The rest have machine guns.

-

Joker makes a grand entrance as two of the thugs fire their machine guns in the air to get everyone's attention. "GREETINGS LOSERS AND LOSER-ETTES! JOKER HERE TO MAKE THIS LOVEY DOVEY HOLIDAY A LITTLE MORE FUN!" He walks forward a step as the thugs aim their guns at the speed daters. "You see, I've recently gone back to the single scene and it's just so hard, so I figured ... hey... There are loads of pathetic wannabe sycophants that come to these things! PERFECT RECRUITMENT FOR A NEW BEAU! A NEW BARBIE FOR MY KEN! A NEW BONNIE FOR MY CLYDE! A NEW ERNIE FOR MY BERT!"

He walks over to one of the tables. "But I know what you're thinking. Joker, you made lovestruck fool! Won't BATMAN come and stop you?" He then turns to the thug with the camera. "Get my good side." Then looks at the people. "No, because he's going to have his hands busy alllll around Gotham!" Then looks at the camera. "Greetings folks! Joker here! As part of the Holiday love-fest, I have a present for Gotham's dating scene. Right now, in restaurants all over Gotham, there are lovebirds being all dull and lovey dovey and romantic.... when everyone knows that the true secret to love is LAUGHTER! So I've planted bombs full of JOKER GAS at restaurants and dating sites all over the city! He ushers one of the other thugs to come over, and turns him around to show a map crudely drawn on his back. "As you can see, I've numbered them. This one... will go off first, followed by this one. Then this one, then this one, then this one... and so on. Every 15 minutes for 15 bombs." He makes a cut motion, then says to the speed daters, "Don't worry folks, you all have a bomb set here as well, so you don't feel left out." Then he nods to the camera and it continues televising. "I won't be telling where they are, but I've left some of my helpful henchment at each restaurant to provide some sport - lets see how many you can disarm! Toodles BATS! Okay cut!"

Joker then looks at everyone. "So... will all thet ladies stand up and go against this wall, and all the men stand and move against that wall?"

Dilana doesn't really know what is going on when Ebony asks her to come along to a restaurant. Despite the fact that it's Valentines day, she doesn't put two and two together and just figures it's a nice evening out as a team to get to know each other better, particularly since she had yet to even meet Amria. Though, once she's there, and she takes off her jacket to set it over the top of a bar stool, she looks around, seeing the fancy valentines decorations, and the way everything was arranged. Finally Amria asks her if she's speed dating and she blinks, then quickly shakes her head. "You brought me here to go speed dating? I appreciate the thought, but I actually already met someone..."

Before Dilana can say any more, Joker shows up and crashes the party, drawing her attention along with pretty much everyone else in the room. When he's done with his speech, she turns back to Ebony. "Well, looks like it's a good thing we decided to come out tonight after all!"

Ebony nods slowly, "man and I wearing such a pretty dress too." She steps behind the bar when the Joker turns to the camra and makes the bartender turn away she takes off the nice dress and her shoes before her supply of paper jumps to life and comes to her folding quickly into her outfit. It not easy to change when you can't get into the ladies room. She stands and jumps on the bar, "Stop there Joker. Give up to the Dark Stars and we go easy on you!" She holds out her hands and couple sheets paper flies out aim at a couple thugs face. Each sheet is cover in something like super glue.

Amria thought she was getting a nice cherry flavored drink. She looks over to the Joker and smiles. "Yeah what she said." she reache into her bag and pulls out her wand. "You want to put your hands in the air and not wave them around like you don't care."

Joker murmurs to the camera guy, "Who are these three weirdos?" He looks at Dilana, then Ebony, then Amria. "We have Sushi, Striptease and Glinda the good witch?" Then watchse as Lady Paper throws paper at two of his goons, plastering them onto their faces. "HEY! Throwing paper products as weapons is MY shtick! Someone shoot that one!" At which point two of the goond start firing at Lady Paper. The two who have the paper on their faces look around, unable to see. "Mghghg! MGHGHGH!" waving their guns around.

Joker sighs. "So hard to find good help these days." and looks over at Amria. "Hey.... you look like you like flowers. Smell this?" he says as he points his lapel flower over at Amria and acid goes flying out in a stream at her!

Lady Paper eeps and step back falling behind the bar, "yeah right guns always forget about the guns." She takes out more paper and they fold into tubes and she sends the flying over the bar and jam them selves into the muzzle of the guns, "Weirdo that's a joke. Your the one in the clown make up! Kusty the clown called he wants his greese paint back. Now be a good party clown and surrender."

Dilana watches as Lady Paper leaps onto the bartop and begins attacking the men with her paper, apparently laden with very strong glue. She chuckles inwardly, unaware that she could do that. It's no laughing matter however when the blinded men start waving their guns around. Who knows if they might decide to actually start shooting randomly around the room. Dilana decides to avoid that possibility, and hopes that Ebony and Amria can take care of the men who can actually aim. Taking aim herself at one of the glued goons, she fires off a focused sonic pulse at his head, giving it enough power that it should knock him out cold. She then quickly adjusts her aim and does the same for the other gun flailing goon.

Hey look um, bullets...bullets are totally not cool, no one said anything with bullets. Oh look acid, frikken acid! Amria jumps behind the bar with a bit of a gymnastic twirl as she dodges the blast. The acid sizzles on the bar top. She grumbles and pulls out her spell book. "Shield, sheild, were are you..." she grins. "Bingo." she starts chanting.

While Joker is spraying acid at Amria, one of the paper'ed goons is knocked down and out by Dilana's sonic blast. Lady Paper narrowly avoids getting filled with bulletholes as she ducks behind the bar, quickly throwing out some paper which jams the guns - because paper can stop bullets from firing! Right?

No - paper cannot stop bullets from firing.

Joker looks at them while still spraying the acid, which is burning through the table that Amria is hiding and chanting under. "You, and you.... Just go GET her! and chop up fishface too!" He then points to the other two goons. "And you two, go get some of the potential replacement Harleys! Harlii! DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?"

Lady Paper peeks up as the gun shots stop, "that worked? I mean that worked." She stands up and sighs, "okay time to stop this three ring circus. She holds out her hand and a bunch of paper jumps from her cape and she touchs each making each stickly with the glue on both sides and sends them out flying in front of the goons going to collect the women so there shoes get stuck to the floor.

Dilana wonders if these goons are carrying knives or swords as Joker orders them to chop her up, or if it was just a figure of speach. In any case, she raises her tail defensivly. But then, before the men can get close, Lady Paper is at it again, attempting to glue them to the floor. She chuckles and gives Lady Paper a thumbs up. "Nice flypaper." She comments as she turns her attention to The Joker, sending out a echolocation scan toward him as she takes careful aim and fires a sonic pulse at him. If it hits, at best it will knock him out like a heavyweight boxer, at worst it will give him the biggest migrane ever and make his ears ring.

Amria's shield is up and she stands up. "WHo are you getting?" she looks at the goons and and launches a force blast from her wand knocking into the goon and him into the wall! She grins happy with herelf, Magic in the house and what not.

Joker yells at the goons who are standing there with paper in their guns, thinking 'hey this is going to jam it. Joker rubs the bridge of his nose. "It's paper. The guns fire bullets... In paper rock scissor, bullet beats paper... so FIRE THE BULLETS!" The goons looks look at each other, then at Lady Paper and Dilana. Apparently, Joker does not hire very smart goons. Then again, very smart goons would never work for Joker anyway.

And as LAdy Paper pops her head out at the sound of bullets stopping.... One of the goons is moving towards her, pulling the paper out of the barrel. AFter all, he probably thinks of you stick your finger in the end of a gun, it will backfire.

Too many Looney Toons cartoons.

And he starts firing at Lady Paper again. Meanwhile, the other one turns his gun on Dilana!

Joker goes back to spraying the acid at Amria, but she gets her shield up just in time when the table disintigrates. Then she fires a blast at one of the goons! And then there were four! "Okay apparently I DO have to do everything..." He takes out his gun and fires. Up. At one of the chandeleirs overhead. Which then starts to fall towards some of the helpless patron speed-daters! Unfortunately, they don't seem to be that speedy when it's coming to RAZOR SHARP SHARDS OF GLASS AND METAL CHANDELEIRS FALLING!

Lady Paper eeps again and ducks again, "damn it paper in the barrles your as wacky as the clown." The then sees the chandeleir and her throat goes dry, "Amria can you stop that!" She sends out paper one at the goon like the others glue is covering it aiming for his face. The other paper from her cape flies out and folds together into a tight ball and crashs into the chandeleir hoping to send it off course and land away from people.

Amria flinches as the acid hits her and blinks. "Hey that works, sweet." she looks up at the chandeleir and shoots it with her wanda hoping to just knock it out of the way and crash to saftey.

Well, perhaps it was a bit much to expect paper to block bullets from firing, so now that the goons have decided they can use their guns again, things are back to being deadly serious, particularly as one of the goons points his gun at her. She doesn't waste any time before firing another sonic blast at the goon's head, hoping she's quicker on the draw and that the pulse is enough to knock him out before he can pull the trigger. Just in case, she begins to move, making herself a tougher target if he does get a shot off.

The goon aims at Dilana, but gets by a sonic blast, sending him crashing into a couple's table and getting knocked out. Still 3 more goons though, so it's a good thing Dilana decides to start making herself a less stationary target.

Speaking of targets, the other goon nears the bar, and aims the gun at Lady Paper! "Okay, now you're gonnna- MGPGHFHFG!" he says as another sticky paper suddenly hits him in the face! He starts firing wildly all over the place, blindly! And Lady Paper at that point tries to deflect a metal and glass chandeleir... with more paper.

Joker watches and says to the Goon cameraman, "And people say I'M bonkers! HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!"

Of course, then Amria fires that magic bolt at the chandeleir at the same time, which knocks it into the goon, knocking him out and stopping the bullets flying.

And then there were two.

Joker winces at seeing that. "That's gonna smart in the morning."

Joker backs off to the door entrance. "Well this isnt going very smoothly at all. Very dour...." He takes out a little remote and presses a button. "Keep everyone inside will ya, boys?" he says to the remaining two goons as he runs out. The goons put on gas masks as some sort of weird green gas starts streaming out of the all 4 air conditioning vents in the restaurant!

Keeping alert to how the fight is progressing, Dilana notes that they are down to two goons and The Joker himself, but soon the clown is fleeing while asking the guards to keep them busy. She considers going after him, but then, the gas. She is able to hear the hiss of the escaping gas before she can see it, and quickly takes a deep breath before closing her blowhole tight. She doesn't wait for Lady Paper to give instruction, knowing there is little time. Quickly making her way toward the speed daters and cobbering one of the goons with a hard tail kick to the face along the way, she points toward the exit. "Everyone get low and head for the door."

"Yeah I am all out of ideas here!" Amria glances over ot their third and keeps her head low holds her breath and heads for the exit.

Lady Paper ducks when the goon starts to stop blindly, "okay mental note disarm before blinding. How do the other heroes make this look easy." Once the goon down she peeks over the bar again just to see jokers retreat, "oh this isn't good." When the gas comes out she stands up, "okay ladies lets finish this!" she calls out. Her hands move out she sends sticky paper out and covers the vents stoping the gas. She looks at Dilana, "Dilana take them out the back door though the kitchen the joker might be waiting outside besides there two big men with guns at the front. Amria can you fire ball or something them?!" She readies her self, "disarm fire then blind." she said to her self. She not sure how then smiles, "of couse." She sends out paper out two each thug sticky with glue and they are aiming for the thugs hands.

Dilana hears Lady Paper as she is moving toward the restaurant patrons and tries to calmly lead them toward the back door through the kitchen.

The gas starts coming out from the vents, and everyone starts panicking among the speed daters. Joker leaves during the ensuing chaos, leaving the two big galoots at the door with machine guns and gas masks. Lady Paper then takes out more paper and throws it at the vents, blocking them off. She then throws sticky paper at the goons hands as well. And while it does work to keep their hands stuck together - they're stuck together on the machine guns. So while Amria and Dilana are leading the panicked patrons towards the back, the goons start firing a hail of bullets at everyone.

Fortunately, Amria had a spell ready for unlocking doors. The lock sparkles and opens and she starts leading the patrons out amidst the hail of gunfire!

Lady Paper ducks again, "damn it that didn't work. Time to stop these guys fully. She takes a deep breath and her suit and all her extra paper breaks up into the sheets. She quickly touchs them all making them sticky and sends them over the bar in a huge wave. The paper will turn the thugs into mummies covering them head to toe should stop them from moving.

Dilana ducks low along with the rest of the screaming, panicked people as she tries to lead them all toward the door. She finds it locked, but luckily Amria was following along and manages a spell to unlock it. Dilana is thankful to get out into the open air as all the gunfire and screaming in the closed building was giving her quite the headache, being amplified by her super sensitive hearing. It wasn't long before the speed daters had all fled in different directions, just wanting to be as far away from all this as possible, leaving Dilana and Amria alone. She turns back toward the door, hoping that Lady Paper isn't far behind.

Suddenly, more paper starts flying out at the two machine-gun-firing goons, wrapping them up like trussed up mummies, causing them to fall over, their guns at their sides. Dilana leads the patrons outside as the GCPD shows up.

Sure, the Joker got away, but hey.... when doesn't he?

Later that night....

Joker is grumbling back at his hideout. "Maybe I'll do better on President's Day..."