2014-01-24 - Wicked Little Plans

Stark had already snorted about getting back on the wagon with Drew's help. He leads the way to Hawkeye's lab and practice room. "Anyway, some things happened, Sawyer's being stubborn as hell, and I'm trying not to be stalky creepy-like in looking after her. Unfortunately, she declined the security detail I offered where she would have full command over, so not sure what else to do. Until I know for sure HYDRA is leaving her the hell alone, I'm not comfortable with just leaving her to her own ends, but I don't want to really interfere with her life. I got an idea, but Rogers would shit himself and yell at me, and you are likely the only one other than Natasha that could even help me pull it off. Anyway, trust you more right now, cause Natasha would likely just want to try make it all better for me, and no one can do that, except me and Sawyer."

Wow, talk about a 180! But it also goes to show that Stark isn't drunk at all. But he does open Hakweye's lab door and motions for Drew to enter first before following her. "Anyway, I think you would have fun with it! It's up your ally, and seriously? How often do we get to do something together?"

"Well, I mean, I wouldn't let you put a detail on me either. The girl's trying to find herself, and you treating her like some lost little child, of course she's going to refuse. As for HYDRA, well, it will be more difficult to find that out unless you /are/ watching her. Hmm..." Jessica says, walking in and setting down the goods in her arms. She scoops ice with the cups and pours some Whisky into them.

"I suspect that's what this is for eh?" She doesn't hand the extra glass to Tony, instead she holds it up and close to her face. "This certainly wont help things, but seeing how I'm in a chatty mood, let us share a glass or two and figure this mess out, what do you say?" She sips from her glass and sits down in a chair, eyeing Tony a bit. "We don't, honestly, but you know me.. I like to do things on my own at times. This part I do enjoy, however, investigative work is my thing, yes"

"I should have been carrying a security detail that day, instead I thought I could handle stuff on my own and even left Happy out in the lobby," Stark's expression tightening. "We all saw where over-confidence got us. Me screwed up for a year, and Sawyer losing a year of her life and getting mind raped, great times." But then Stark waves one hand dismissively, "But that's logic, I mean, who cares about that?"

Stark then nods, "Don't bother with the falling off the wagon lecture. No real point. I know exactly what I did. I wanted to relax, have fun again, just cut loose. Liquor helps me do that. Yes, I got totally trashed in Cali, and I about wiped out the bar to do so, mega-high tolerance these days. Anyway, enjoying liquor is something I'm going to start doing again, but getting drunk off my ass? Not so much." Tougher to do when one has enhanced healing anyway.

"So, let's talk about more fun things. Like how I'm totally going to do something I will likely regret, and you are going to help me, cause it's a prank and sly all at once." Stark winks at Jess and points to the glass as if to silently say 'let's get started'.

"That is precisely why I didn't give it to you, Tony. You're a big boy, if you want or need help, you'll suck it up and ask for it," she lowers and slides the glass on the table to Tony. "Hey. I'm not here to judge you for... well, this at least. I have better things to judge you for," Jessica winks back and leans back in her chair after removing her peacoat and setting it on a different chair, revealing a plain black v-neck t-shirt. "I don't really think it's too much of a prank, but it should be fun," she plays with the rim of her glass a little. "Well. We should see if we can monitor HYDRA's radio transmissions to see if they mention Sawyer in code or otherwise, yes?"

"Possible, but they are also always changing frequencies." Stark moves to pick up his glass and takes a drink of it before sitting his ass on one of Hawkeye's work tables, picking up a tool and whirling it about his fingers curiously. "I was actually thinking, a secret identity. Someone to create as a 'friend' to Sawyer, someone she could easily talk to and just be herself with. You realize the only thing she has ever wanted to talk to me personally is 'us'? I say I'm not ready for a relationship, and she constantly pushes for an 'us'. A 'how is your day' is completely ignored. What the hell happened to small talk? I know she can do it. We were apart for a year, we both aren't the same people we were. Not her, and not me. But that doesn't register we should 'get to know each other'. So....as Tony Stark, I've been 'forbidden' to contact her unless I'm willing to talk about 'us'. So, I gotta talk to her not as Tony Stark, but someone 'else'."

Jessica all but facepalms. "She's really doing that? I mean, the girl's messed up and all that, but really, you two should start by just being friends first. Mostly because you both /are/ different people." She turns her chair to face Tony and puts her still wet boots up on his workbench. "If that is what you want with the 'us' right now, then that is what you should tell her. Be honest. There is no 'us' right now." Jessica shrugs. "Though I suppose I can help you with that, but she might see through my disguise and girlfriends does not instantly happen."

"Exactly! That's what I told her! But she wasn't having any of that. So, it was jumping back to being lovers or nothing at all." Stark hrms, "That's just it. I need tutoring in acting, changing my voice and body language as well. I think I know how to get a good foundation though, something easy for me to pull off." He then pauses dramatically as he takes another drink of his whiskey.

Stark then grins wickedly, "I found out, she's volunteering at a soup kitchen. One, obviously, that got a nice donation from the Maria Stark Foundation. But in either case, what about a homeless bum? An alcoholic to boot. No way would she think he was hitting on her, and she would feel this urge to 'help' him. She wouldn't feel threatened either. I can wear some grown up and crazy ass beard and mustache, and longer hair, and the clothes and coat! Even gloves as it's winter to hide my hands and not appear suspicious even if I don't take them off." That and of course Stark has been there, in that place, for a few months straight. It was horrible, he was broken, and he can remember.

Jessica considers that a moment. "That might do, but I'm not sure... Hmm... Elderly homeless person. Just start watching moves of elderly people and I'll get the stuff you need together to mask yourself and... well... that thing," she says, pointing to Tony's chest. "You blow this, it will go badly. We need coms, and a van I can park nearby to listen into this and help you out. You guys can clearly not be together like that again, and it is very unfair of her to put such an ultimatum on you like that. "I wouldn't go drunk, though. If she ever finds you out and you're drunk, shit will role down hill very quickly," she says, kicking her feet of the table and standing to examine Tony's features. "Yes. I think we can make something work there."

Stark nods, "First couple times till I get into the groove be wise. I am impulsive," he confesses. "But not too old. I already don't act my age, how you expect me to act like an old guy? But someone older than I am now works. Homeless often appear older than they really are anyway. I'm debating contacts, but sometimes they are visible if someone gets close to your face and how can you afford contacts as a homeless person? Eyes are usually the hardest to lie with, it's easier with a mask like Iron Man's."

"Well, really, old men have a tendency to be a bit... how do I say this, touchy feel-y and a bit dirty with their words. She might think you're the creepy old guy that needs a bit of pity, but older people are easier. You know, to mask someone who is young. Mainly because they'd wear extra layers of clothes because they'd be naturally colder than younger bucks," Jessica shrugs, "it is up to you, however. But you do have some unmistakable features. Yeah. Nix the contacts unless you can make holo-contacts that wouldn't have that effect. Of course, old people wear sunglasses a lot. "

"Actually...you are brilliant!" Stark hops up and moves over to Drew, setting his glass aside. And if Drew isn't carefully she ends up with one quick, firm kiss on her lips. "Beautiful too! I have Holo-Bracelets! They aren't hard light technology, though supplement them with Shi'ar technology and I could upgrade them!" That's the tech used in the Simulation Room here and the Combat Zone at the Avengers Academy. "I can make it as dramatic or as subdued as I want!"

"Ha! I'll make sure you remember you said that in the future, Stark," she grins, then laughs when he plants a kiss on her lips. "Why thank you, my liege," Jessica says with a mock bow. "That should do nicely. With a voice modifier, you won't have to work on any accents. Shit, I wish I had that with my last op." She nods with approval. "Now. What's your plan if this all doesn't work, or if you're caught?"

"You can ask for favors you know Jess, I am your teammate and friend," Stark advises. "Just...no access to my personal lab, you do have some spy in you," and he grins at that. "You make me nervous as hell when you do that. I got secrets there, that Cap rages at me about," and his smile slips. But he then picks up his glass again to take another seat as he flops back down atop the workbench. "Tell her: 'Well, what did you expect when I didn't get my way?' Expect her to punch me this time instead of slap me, and walk away wiser about my acting skills."

"I know that, Tony. But I like to do things on my own, and I may have some spy in me, but you have to trust people too, you know? Know that I would never purposefully do anything like that to you, K? If I am, then know there is something seriously wrong," Jessica nods at that, and plops herself down and scolds Tony after taking a sip of her drink. "Now, that's no way to go about it, Tin man," she says furrowing her brow, "you aren't going to get your way just as much as she isn't. You can't ask her to accept she has no control over what you do, if you won't accept that you have no control over what she does. I say if you're caught, own it, tell why you did what you did, and part ways for awhile. If she gets picked up by HYDRA again, you'll certainly know it. Just look for the darts sticking out of my ass cheek," Jessica laughs.

"Some things are to protect you guys, you know?" Stark then shrugs slightly. However, he soon relaxes a bit when Jess indirectly offers to keep an eye on Sawyer should he screw up. "Thanks Jess. And I do admit, I'm worried about her too. She doesn't talk to me, and I don't think she really has close friends right now. She just has Doc Samson to talk to, no one to just relax about that likely doesn't know she went missing for a year. I...wanted to be that friend to her, no expectations, nothing, but well...apparently she had expectations of me." Stark smirks a bit, "Life is a bitch, intentions often mean little." Which is the opposite of what he said to John, but hey...sometimes it's nice to have some illusions in life.

"I do," Jessica concedes, "but sometimes we don't need protecting. You keep to yourself more than you think, Tony. And as for Sawyer, well, she's a big girl. She'll make mistakes, like all of us, and learn from them. If she doesn't have friends it might be that she doesn't want any, or doesn't want any right now, rather." Jessica shrugs. "Not that I know, she's a strange creature," she laughs a little downing her Whisky and pours another glass for herself, sliding the bottle towards Tony. "Life is more than a bitch, but you learn from it, or you don't. Can't expect life to be perfect. If it is, there's something wrong," she winks, taking a swig of the liquid in her glass.

"Have you really spoken with her before?" Stark is curious on Drew's take on Sawyer if they have actually met, he isn't sure. But Stark catches the bottle and pours himself another drink. "Thought I learned about it. You don't drink and you talk about your feelings. It's all bullshit really, we saw how that went for me, stayed sober for years, lonely as hell, not sure how to socialize without liquor, and talking about your feelings is painful like pulling damn teeth or something or talking with Kang the Conqueror. Gawd, now THAT is painful. Anyway, he more talks AT you than with you. I should give that feedback to Iron Lad. Anyway! As I was saying, it backfired, so fuck it. Life screws you either which way, you may as well live the way you want."

Stark then slides the bottle back Jess. "Honestly, it's not like I'm not worried about my drinking, I could lose control. But I expect if I do that, Rogers or you be punching me or pheromoning me or something to keep me from doing anything too stupid, least that's my hope." He raises his glass. "To friends and teammates. To hopefully be there to keep you from doing the really stupid shit."

A pause, "Or help you do it, whichever is more fun," Stark then adds before knocking back his drink.

"Not really, Tony, but I don't need to to read between the lines, it's kind of my job," Jessica smirks and shakes her head. "Son. You've got a lot of learnin' left to do," she says and slugs back another swallow of the drink. "Be who ever you need to be to be you, that's what I try to do, I can't please everyone but I can make myself happy with how my life's going. Can't save everyone either."

She smiles, setting the glass on the table and running a finger around the rim, catching the bottle as it slides back her way. "I don't need to punch you to express my displeasure, Tony. There are far better ways," Jessica tisks, "and I don't intend on pheromoneing you anytime soon. That would be like giving a pyro a match, gasoline, and a house to play in." She laughs a bit and lifts her glass. "To friends, teammates, and raising hell... and keep Tony from doing really stupid shit. But apparently not Hawkeye, he's excluded from the stupid shit clause."

"Damn, and I was so hopeful, for the pheromoning, not the punching," Stark clarifies. "He is stupid shit, but he's funny stupid shit, so it's alright. We forgive him for being him, and love him in our own special way, which is totally not gay for me, and he already has two women mooning after him, so don't you dare Jess." Stark winks over at Drew.

"Alright, I got a holo-bracelet to upgrade, and watching some old people or something, maybe I should watch clips on youtube, that could work. Damn short attention span," Stark confesses without much guilt.

"Ha! You would, however, I don't think you really understand how strong it actually is. Just ask Steve, that is all," Jessica laughs, even though a touch of blush pinks her cheeks. "Not me. I'm not too pleased with him. He let his emotions get in the way of my greater mission. Asshole stepped on my gangster, and I'm the type of person that doesn't give a shit about what the higher ups of SHIELD say," Jessica sniffs and accidentally kicks over a stack of papers in a folder. "Oops," she says with a mock look of shock. "Me, and Clint? Bahahahaha," Jessica laughs hysterically, "you've got to be off your damn rocker, Stark!"

"Ah. Yes. That should all do nicely, watch the clips for movement, use the voice distorter for voice cover." Jessica shakes her head. "I'm sort of used to your short attention span."

"Oh, he told me, Mr. I'll take it like a man." Stark grins at that. "He was nervous how his live-in girlfriend would react." He tsks at Jess, but not really upset at her for knocking over the papers. "You will get over the male stupidity, as you did with me." He hrms, "And why am I off my damn rocker again? Countless reasons, but what's yours for saying it?"

"Right, voice distorter...come to think of it," a pause, "There, mental memo," really it is one on his computer. "Anyway, what's wrong with a short attention span? There are ways that can be done to lengthen it depending on a lady's interest."

"Ha! Yeah. I talked to him about it, he /knew/ that was a possibility, silly man must've thought he was impervious. I never asked how it went with his girlfriend," Jessica cringes. "Oh. You're off your rocker for even suggesting I woulds go for that hot mess of a man and his love... what is it now, square?" She snorts then eyes the papers on the ground and shrugs.

"Yeah. Saves you from extra work, and you really don't need extra work with this," Jessica grins, tipping back the rest of her drink and setting the cup down with a bit of a clunk. "Well yeah, when there aren't any other distractions in your direct line of sight," she winks, spinning the glass around on the table. "Otherwise, you're off in your own little world in that head of yours."

"It's not a bad little world you know Jess. You are welcome to join sometimes. It doesn't always have to be high tech. We can build catapults and try to shoot Hawkeye out of the sky on his skycycle with jello or something. I'm up for just about anything that promises to be fun. Just no ice skating, but I'd try roller skating," and Stark grins impishly at that. "Used to have a set of skates on Iron Man, even Rogers made fun of them. They had to go, but seriously, jet skates! I went fast on feet, without flying, kinda miss that sometimes when I need to get from point A to B quickly on foot." And as if the humorous stories would stop there.

"Oh. I know there is more to you than just numbers and gadgets, just haven't had the time to ever figure you out, Stark. Maybe someday," Jessica says with a smile, putting her feet back up on the workbench and filling her glass once more. "And we certainly have to try that catapult thing. Can we make them Jello-shots? I bet those would sting more if gotten in the eyes," she laughs a bit as she sits comfortably, chatting for a bit, long after her glass is empty once more.