DC: 2012-04-16 - Slobo Gone Wild

Bludhaven. Hey, look! Its Grant's Gym, where the troubled and ambitious can try to achieve their dreams through... the equivalent of the Y...

What's this!? A whole hanging punching bag goes flying, crashing out one of the display windows in a shattering of glass and debris! It hits a mailbox, upending and spilling its sandy contents into the street. The sounds of an argument can be heard, but then the main door opens and out steps a short, slim fella, with tall spiky black hair and unusual eyes, giving a rude gesture to whoever may be inside.

"Yeah, frag you too!" He grumbled to himself. "Is the fraggin' Titans Island the only place I can go to get some exercise? Feetal's Gizz, ugh!" he scraped his boot along the pavement, leaving a deep gash in the concrete from the bottom of his boot.

In a moment of normalcy - Kendra's had a few of those lately mixed in with the strange - a woman is shooting some video of buildings and other parts of Bludhaven using one of those small camcorders that fit neatly into one hand. Streets, storefront signs, various buildings and even a few people. Who knows what it's for? As she nears the gym and gets it in the viewfinder's sights, that's right when the door opens and someone...really strange pops out. Blinking as she looks past the image on the screen, Kendra stares at the little thing pitching a fit.

Bludhaven isn't Penny's normal hangout, but Porter Aviation is building a hub here for one of their zeppelin lines, trying to infuse some cash into the local economy and all that. The business stuff has been done for a while, so she is out flying. Of course, if she goes flying, things happen. It might stand to do some research into whether trying to relax actually has some causality to crime...but the answers would probably be depressing. Still, part of her brain processes the likely research methods, while the rest puts her into a dive, picking up speed as she zooms down towards the punching bag incident.

More than a few very large men pursue the little Slobo, and stand about him, in so many ways looking genuinely intimidating. The little guy lifts a pinkie and picks at his teeth, nonplussed. Words are exchanged... gone to shouting in fact. And then the kid is punched squarely in the face, and he topples.

Needless to say, what appears to be a beatdown ensues. This is Bludhaven, a wretched hive of scum and villainy. And even in the few good parts, there are always bad seeds.

The good thing is Kendra's getting all of this on video. The bad? What is she to do about it? She's across the street from the place and she mutters a, 'Oh, shit' that the camcorder no doubt picked up, but from what she can see there's a very odd-looking boy getting beat on by grown men. "Hey! Knock it off!" she shouts, adding, "I've got you on tape!"

When Pilot gets close enough to spot who it is that this crowd of men is chasing, she puts on the airbrakes. No emergency here. She pulls out of her dive and is about to pull up into a climb, but then Kendra gets involved and she spins to fly in that direction. "He's alright. They can't do anything but hurt themselves by punching him." Whish....she flies past, then wheels back for another pass, "He can take a punch from Superman."

When the big men tire themselves out, Slobo lays there, looking dazed. They brush themselves off, give themselves hi-fives, and head back into the gym.

Satisfied, covered with shoe scuffs and more than a bit of debris, Slobo stands up and shakes himself, mussing his own hair and wiping away a bootprint from his face. "Being a hero sucks," he lamented. And then he saw her. "Pilot!"

With a broad grin he dashed over, right through traffic, across the street. The screeching of tires and honking announce his arrival, and he skids to a stop before the two. "Haven't seen you in forever! How ya been? We should go out for pizza and stuff again. Who's your friend?" he asked, giving Kendra an elevator stare. Noting the camera, he posed as dashing as he could - but with half a bootprint on his forehead, it looked rather silly.

"What?" The camcorder swings around to track Pilot before Kendra lowers it for a moment, then it refocuses on Slobo as he gets back up while seeming none the worse for wear. Pilot doesn't appear to be recognized just yet, Slobo certainly not. The camera swings around to get her face, mouthing silently, 'What the ffff.' It returns to getting Slobo in the scene before she stops recording and puts it away. This probably won't be going into whatever little project she's working on. "Hey kid, you've got something right there. No..there." She points at her face like she's telling him to wipe off a dirt smudge, but it's quite a bit more.

Pilot does a couple loops, then cuts out the 'engine' and switches to flapping. She comes in for landing near both of them and she gives Slobo a punch in the arm...which of course hurts her hand more than it does him. She hops and hugs her fist immediately, "Ow! You cause trouble whereever you go young man. And...I don't know this girl. She could have gotten hurt. Luckily those men found it fun beating you up."

"You okay? And I'm not a kid! Or a young man! I... well, I guess I'm a young man," Slobo mused, tapping his chin. "But not with that fraggin' tone! I'm older'n you are!" Maybe. Its kind of ambiguous. "Oh, well, hi there!" He gave Pilot a hug, whether consensual or otherwise, and then offered a hand and a broad, lightly-fanged smile to Kendra. "I'm Slobo! Formerly o'Young Justice. Now I'm kinda freelance, but I'm lookin' t'join a team, maybe. If they ain't TOO goody-goody, yannowhatI'msayin'? I got a what?" he asked, wiping at his face, to no avail.

Kendra eyes Pilot for a few extra seconds, then shakes her head and returns to studying Slobo. "I'm fine, and you look like some gothy kid in all that, that's all," she explains. The camcorder is small enough to have been tucked away in a side pocket of the cargo pants she's wearing today, a snug long-sleeved top to go with it in dark blue. After a pause she briefly accepts the hand held out. "I'm Kendra. I was filming for a university project. Young Justice, huh?" She doesn't come off quite like the typical normal, looking as if she's got some sort of experience around these kinds of people. "And nevermind. You just look like you got stomped on..which is true."

Penny pushes her goggles up after getting crushed by Slobo ino a hug, "Gah! Careful. I aint a super alien. I got bones that break you goof. And you are so too a kid. You don't look like the grown up supervillain you. Thank goodness...talk about a whole mess of ugly to look forward to." She then looks at Kendra, "Hello Kendra. Well, good to see that those guys didn't get distracted from beating on Slobo here. Then someone would have had to have gotten hurt I guess."

"Nice to meetcha, Kendra. And sorry, Pilot! I was tryin'a be gentle!" He frowned low. "And don't remind me. I'm trying to beef up, but I don't wanna be THAT ugly." He shuddered. "And yeah - s'why I just kinda laid there and took it. I wasn't gettin' hurt, and was keepin' 'em from gettin' their hands on anyone else. Like you," he pointed to Kendra. Slobo gave a smile though. "So! This is Bludhaven, huh? Looks all..." he paused. "Shoddy."

"It's a gym. Why would they come after me just because I was here? What'd you do to set them off, anyway?" Kendra comes with a couple of the important questions before adding, "And I have a taser anyway, so they'd have been in for a surprise." She squints between the two after Pilot talks of a grown-up supervillain goth boy, left to shake her head before he comments on Bludhaven. "It's rough around the edges, but that suits me."

"You didn't break anything. I was teasing. Though, you would only need to exert a minimal proportion of your strength in order to crush every bone in my body, so I do suppose hugs are dangerous." Penny contemplates what percentage of Slobo's strength would be required to turn her into Penny jelly, and while she does that she looks at Kendra and says, "Well, once a mob is initiated, they tend to lose focus on why they started their rampage. So, you interceding on behalf of Slobo here could have lead them to seek a newer, more satisfying outlet for their destructive urges. Bludhaven is economically challenged. One can expect a higher level of crime per capita. Still, it isn't Gotham."

"See that punching bag?" Slobo pointed over to it, which is slumped over the upended mailbox. "That was me. They said I couldn't train in there. That I was too young, too scrawny, whatever. So I showed 'em I could do that. And, uh, that pissed some of 'em off." He shrugged. "So its sorta my fault. But I took it proper, yeah?"

Kendra's left shaking her head. Some things..well, they make sense in the context of what Slobo is, but still. "Yeah, you busted up their equipment so they figured they'd return the favor. I don't need you two worrying about me, though." She doesn't explain why, just leaving it at that for now. Her tone hints at not liking being seen as unable to defend herself, at least. "So it's over and done with, at least."

Pilot sighs and looks over at the gym in question. "Pilot to Bombadier. Note the gym please." Then she turns to Slobo and gives him another punch, which leads to another holding of her hand. "Ow. You just can't go breaking things like that. I mean, you /can/ control your strength. You could have shown off and flopped your johnson about without breaking things. You can hug me without turning me into so much medical waste." She looks to Kendra and shrugs, "Well, worrying about bystanders is sort of an occupational hazard."

"That it is," Slobo agreed. "Sorry. Just..." He rubbed the back of his head almost sheepishly. "Not sayin' you can't take care of yerself, Kendra. I know, Pilot, but I was mad. I didn't actually hurt anybody, neither!" He crossed his arms over his chest. "Flopped my johnson?" he snorted, and laughed. "And yeah, Kendra, it is. You're not in some goofy costume, so..." He shrugged. "Sorry."

For most of this, Kendra becomes suddenly silent as a distant expression shows up. She eyes the sky, now empty apart from a few birds that fly around unaware of the conversation below, and her attention comes back around again at the laugh from Slobo. Just in time for his comment about the costume. Her head angles a little to one side and she murmurs, "No, I guess I'm not in some costume," as she looks at herself in a slightly different way upon thinking about that and what it means.

Pilot eyes Kendra speculatively for a few moments, "Well, the goofy costumes are optional. Heroes don't need them." She looks up at the other two, from one to the other, then says to Slobo, "You didn't hurt anyone, but you ruined a heavy bag and a window. I bet that between the two of those things you cost that gym owner well over a thousand dollars. More, considering he or she will have to get a rush on that window if they are going to get it replaced today. And you are still homeless, without a reliable source of income I'm guessing? You aren't going to take care of it. So...yes. You whipped out your metaphysical penis and compared sizes with the fellows in the gym."

"I..." Slobo has been effectively QED'd by Pilot. "So what?" He crossed his arms over his chest again, and harumph'd. "Money ain't hard to come by in a lot of places of the world. I guess..." He frowned. "I guess I could offer to help 'em fix it." And everyone learned a valuable lesson.

Kendra shakes off Pilot. "I know. It just made me think of something else. Forget it." She's still got that distracted look about her, even as Pilot sums up what just took place in and out of the gym. It's just not a real concern of hers, though she does sniff in amusement at the last bit Slobo is told. Then, "I know a little of what it's like to be without a home. It sucks." A glance between the two again as he mentions the thought of helping repair the damages, then she says, "What you really need is a place to train where you don't have to worry about breaking things."

"Hey, I been homeless awhile, spent most o'my time ramblin'. Kinda like them hoboes." He smiled. "You gotta place though, right Kendra? And yeah... I used to go to the Titans' Tower. But they don't like me as much as they like each other. Ambiguous morals, I got 'em. They don't like it."

"You really should look into putting your talents to ends that pay you appropriately. But we've already had this discussion. When you decide to let me help you get your legal status cleared up, we will. And I doubt the Titans would mind you working out at their place. Or probably any super team with that sort of facilities." Pilot isn't really up on what Bludhaven has in this regard. She really only is familiar with socio-economic factors, the cost of operating a plant here, shipping costs, and the screams of various executives she's had to listen to about why she shouldn't be concerned about improving life in the area. "You've been homeless?" She eyes Kendra with concern, homeless deity leveled space aliens are one thing, normal homeless are far more tragic. Still, Slobo asks the questions, and she stays silent for a moment.

"Used to get by on the streets, yeah," Kendra says, leaving out anything to do with how that really went for her. "I'm going to a university now, working on stuff, finding my own path. I'm good now." It's said curtly, without the rudeness that often goes along with it. "I couldn't give you any suggestions for a good place to work out, though. Not if you're that strong."

"Finding your own path is always the best way to be," Slobo said with a broad grin. "And I'd rather work under the table than pay for taxes, Pilot. I'm happy being an alien even in the most specific sense of the word." He nodded firmly. "So, who's for pizza? Or wait, you seem a local - know any good spots to eat?" he asked the curt and gloomy Kendra. "And Pilot, was wondering if you might wanna go on a date sometime. I ain't that bad, surely y'know that."

"Hmm. Well. I am glad to see you've turned your life around Kendra." She rubs at her nose a bit, then sniffles before looking at Slobo, "That is criminal. Taxes pay for the fabric of society in case you didn't know that. Bridges, clean water, waste removal, health care, police, fireman. Avoiding taxes is morally irresponsible." She frowns at him then turns back to Kendra, "Are you a photography major? Or journalism?"

Kendra eyes Slobo. "So you're really not from around here, in the broadest sense. Huh." Aliens? Not the first time Kendra's met one. "And finding the path is the challenge, especially when things keep coming up from the past." A shrug and that's left alone as she directs their attention down the street. "Stromboli's, a few blocks that way. You have to try the garlic knots." She nods to the bit of approval from Pilot but it washes off like the words of general conversation might. "Cinematography, but I like using a still camera too. Guess I'm a visual person."

"Irresponsibility is something that comes natural. Not like I make any money, anyway." He frowned again. Sometimes Pilot made him feel stupid. "But maybe I'll do somethin'. I dunno. Does Superman pay taxes?" he asked, stubbornly.

"The foundation of good cinemaphotography lies in still photography. That is where your compositional skills will be highlighted and honed." Penny ponders for a moment or two, "Quote, but where I've read it slips my mind." She eyes Slobo and nods her head, "I have it on good authority that yes, he does pay taxes."

Kendra nods in wordless agreement to Pilot's quote, evidently deciding she doesn't need to add to it. Instead she says, "Yeah, well, I'm gonna let you to take care of whatever you need to. If you do go check out the place, be careful not to bust it up? I like their calzones. Oh, and I'm not going to do anything with the video so don't worry about that."

"You're heading off?" Slobo asked Kendra, his face falling. "But we just met! We hardly know each other, already we're drifting apart." He smiled shortly thereafter. "Naw, I'm just kiddin'. If you gotta go you gotta go. And I won't bust it up, circumstances permittin'." He looked over at Pilot. "He does? Under what bracket? Hell, I dunno about taxes... what should I do?"

Pilot watches the 'civilian' leave, then she grabs Slobo by the ear and yanks on it...cause it is fun. "I can't believe you. Yes. You should have a job where you earn money and yes you should pay taxes. You act like a five year old." Of course, she is trusting on him allowing her to drag him by the ear, because she certainly couldn't move him without his consent. "Well, I'm hardly his accountant. But what he pays isn't important. It is you, getting a life. I'm buying of course, since I don't earn my money illegally." It would seem they are going to try out Stromboli's.

"Gah! Hey! Hey! Hey!" Strung along, Slobo lets himself get dragged by the ear from the angry Pilot. "But everything that ain't fun is just so borin'! Ow! hey! And people might claim I have an unfair advantage! Like I'm comin' to steal jobs or somethin'! Ow! Hey!"

Pilot grimaces, "Boring? You are a homeless hobo because jobs are too boring? And you are already stealing jobs if you want to call it that, by working all these under the table things. You just are stealing them from other desparate types." She lets go of Slobo's ear, "I told you I can't date you until you have a real life, but here you are, pretending I never said anything about the subject. Trying to be all cute so I'd forget. Well, come eat pizza."

"I didn't forget! I just..." He tries to make excuses, but they all fall short. "Alright, Pilot, you're right. And you can help. What would be a good vocation for me?"

"You do NOT want me to answer that question when I am mad at you." She storms into the restaurant in question, "You are so lucky I have some cash on me." She grumbles and pushes him forward, "Order. I think you need to do something YOU pick, but something that isn't being a homeless hobo who gets into fights when he thinks it would sound fun."

"But it IS fun! And I didn't hurt anybody!" And once he's pushed in line, he simply orders a large slice of meat lover's and an extra large soda. But he looks sad while doing it. "I'm sorry, Pilot!"

Pilot lifts a hand, "Eh! You are only sorry about being caught. And that's all you are getting? Seriously?" She leans forward and says, "Three more of those meat loves, another large soda, and...a slice of cheese pizza. Thank you very much." She then pays up, and grabs the paper cups. She leaves him to grab their food as she fills their drinks up. "What are you drinking? And sure, fighting might be fun. I mean, I like it too. But I'm a grown up, so I do more than just what is fun."

"But I got like, potentially hundreds of years if not full immortality ahead of me." And then he realizes how arrogant he sounds. "Feetal's Gizz, I'm a moron. Root beer, please." He carries the bountiful meal to a table for the two of them. "I'm great with mechanics and science. But I don't wanna have to go to college or anything. From what I can tell you need some stupid piece of paper before you can get to work doing anything worthwhile."

She gets two root beers, handing him his before she sits down, "So, because you are going to live forever, you get to go around being a bum? And what would be so bad about college? You afraid of learning something?" She groans and settles down to eating. If she were anime, there'd be a burning squiggle over her head. If she were looney tunes, there'd be steam coming from her ears. Instead, she just has to fume and eat silently. "Have you tried?" Okay, the silent treatment didn't last long, "I am sure I could get you a job teaching. Assuming you could actually pay attention and do it. Doing research or something, since you have all this alien knowledge in your head. You are smart and talented, but you run around with your thumb up your butt because flinging poo is more fun than working."

"It is! Sitting on my butt looking at papers all day isn't anywhere near as fun as going out and learning stuff thataway! I've been mountain climbing! Observing people! Stargazing! And when I find people with screwed up vehicles on the side of the road I fix 'em for 'em just to hear their stories. And their cars get like, super improved from it." He hrmph'd. "I don't just run around with my thumb up my butt, Pilot."

"I've been mountain climbing and stargazing and I still work. But whatever. It is your life." She stuffs half of a slice of pizza into her mouth and chews on it, cheeks puffed out like a squirrel.

FTB