2014-02-24 - The Sordid Story

The sound of papers sliding around and filing cabinet doors being opened and closed with a familiar *woosh-clink* is what can be heard upon walking into Jessica's office. Neatly stacked piles of papers being carefully pushed into folders and set off to the side before being filed away swiftly, mechanically, like something that has been done a million times before. Jessica rises from her desk to file the largest stack under the cabinet marked M-N on the front.

Jessica is wearing red heels, with a black pencil skirt and a matching red lace blouse. Her long raven hair is pinned up at the back of her hair in a bun that has pens and pencils haphazardly sticking out of it. She is dressed up, yes, even if Natasha is her only scheduled meeting for the day, this is her business after all; one she apparently takes very seriously.

Natasha pushes the door open, looking worn out-- dark circles under her eyes, a cup of coffee in her hand. She greets Drew with a nod. She's in street clothing: jeans, boots, her leather jacket hanging open to show one of Tony's Metallica t-shirts. She had been taking to stealing his shirts lately, not that he seemed to mind. She fills out the shirt a bit more well than she may have a month ago, for the observant.

Still, she's armed, as is typical for Nat-- going anywhere without her stings, at least one gun in a backdraw, and her line wrapped at her belt is an anathema to her. "Afternoon, Drew," she says evenly. "Doing better, I see." Pushing the file door closed with her hip, Jessica nods back to Nat before scanning the contents of the folder and setting it on her desk. "You look like shit," she says absently, "but you look no better than I feel." She gestures to the comfortable looking chair across the desk and sits in her own chair -- which hasn't been the same since they day she found Logan sitting in it, all smug-like. "I'm doing alright. Haven't slept much. What about you, besides the obvious, of course." She takes a pen out of her hair and jots a note down on the inside of the folder she had just placed.

Natasha shrugs, taking a sip of her coffee as she sits down. "Bored. I'm on desk duty for the foreseeable. Working on a half a dozen issues and trying to keep Tony from losing his mind-- a full time job, just that." She regards the other of Fury's pseudo-daughters. Just add Little Daisy and it would be a family reunion. "I'm glad you're up and about." She at least sounds sincere.

"Suppose I am too, but that's self-induced," she says, placing the pen back in her hair. "What did you do now?" Jessica leans back in her chair, arching a brow at Natasha. "Tony has always been a full time job, the only person who didn't realize that was Tony. I never minded that much, though. I've got my own place to run and hide to when I've had enough." She tosses a thumb to the stairs that lead up to her apartment. "I did meet James, and had a short chat with him yesterday before he headed out," Jessica shrugs, running a hand down her right side. "Yeah. So am I. That was a close one," she looks away from Natasha, pretending to straighten an already perfectly straightened stack of case files.

"Ah. James." Natasha shrugs, as if that doesn't matter. "Yes, I've spoken with him as well. He seems to be recovering well enough, at least." Jessica grins, shaking her head. "You can't bull shit me, Natasha." She chuckles a bit, tossing a folder in Nat's direction. "Pym called me in a few days ago to use my pheromones to calm James down, I was being handed that," she gestures to the folder," when Pym hit me on the ID. I got there, and he was talking about you, my dear. Nothing specific, something about almost killing a girl on the plane if you weren't there, Natalie."

Inside is a color copy of a printed photo, touched up with higher definition made to clear it up, from World War II. It has Captain America with the Howling Commandos, so it includes Nick Fury, Dum Dum, and Bucky in it. If flipped over it has in red pen: 'Still hate you, but this is my favorite photo of Steve's. I'm keeping the original.' It isn't signed.

"Talked to James about it, got his story and how he ended up where he is today. The Howling Commandos, and Daddy Fury was apart of it. Not that that's a shocker at all. What's your story, Natalie?"

Natasha rubs her temples. And is silent for a long time.

Weighing options. Hell, it will come out soon enough; it's just a matter of how much of it.

"He was found by someone in the KGB, unsure who. They healed him... they did something to him. We knew who he was before; it made some sort of beautiful irony to turn one of the Americans against the rest." She leans back in her chair, closing her eyes, remembering. Some things, far too clearly.

"I was... eighteen." She nods slightly. "Almost nineteen, I remember. It had only been a year, year and a half since I had taken the injections... when he was brought to the facility. I was going through my training during the off-season for the ballet." Her career as a well-loved ballerina in Moscow had been a cover, and nothing more, no matter how talented she had been at dance.

Jessica unfolds a hand and gestures to Nat. "Something to him? Like you, I assume, in some way, that is," Jessica scratches at her temple where she had a large gash after the door exploded in her face, it's all but healed but damn does it itch. "It is quite clear he's a super soldier, anyway." She drops her hand and folds her arms.

Jessica nods along, taking it all in. "Thank you," she says simply of the information given, "that wasn't so hard, was it?" Jessica leans back in her seat a bit further, a blank expression on her face, neither irritation or joviality, Nat's story deserves none of those things.

"This training," she asks when there's a break in her story, "it involved that room, didn't it? And before you start," she unfolds her arms and sticks up a palm, sitting up in her chair," I expect the truth. That place almost killed me if it weren't for the kevlar in Stark’s armor, and you hid it from us, the Avengers. Fuck SHIELD, it was a portal you said, they don't need to know about that they'd just find a way to use it. I could've helped, we all could have." Jessica gestures as if to say, go on.

Natasha's eyes flash. "I will /not/ discuss the room. You could not understand. /No one/, not Fury, not Stark, not you or me, and damn sure not HYDRA or AIM, should have access." She regards Jess with a dark look. "No matter the way a person claims to be working for goodness and light, /power/ will corrupt even the brightest soul, Drew. And if I have only done one good thing in my life, it was making sure that portal was destroyed. Your life, my life, means /nothing/ in comparison. I was prepared to die for it. You should have stuck to the script-- you'd have been less damaged."

That neither Hill nor Little Daisy had even flinched when Natasha went dark; nor did Clint when she broke away, should prove that Natasha /did/ tell someone, something. And she had intended to go alone.

"Stark would have wanted the technology to reverse engineer. Fury would have used the room to train, or for advanced interrogation. Nyet! It had to be destroyed, it had to remain a secret. It has been /my/ burden for decades. Do not presume."

"Had I stuck to the script," Jessica responds, "you probably would be dead now. I am not angry that I got injured, I am angry that this room got turned into 'unimportant details' upon which if they had discovered it, could've bode ill for us all. And with how you are reacting, maybe even the world.

Jessica sighs. "I cannot fight aside someone who cannot trust me enough to share the barest of details. Jess, we need protect this, destroy it, no one can get their hands on it," Jessica tosses a mock salute, "you've got it. No questions asked, at least, not unless something comes out of it that needs explaining."

Jessica shifts in her chair, pushing a paper around absently. "I respect you not wanting to tell me everything, we've all got pasts, yes? Somethings terribly unpleasant, but give me some credit, Natasha, in my line of work, secrecy is top notch. You understand? Hell. I even understand not telling Stark."

"You're God Damned right that fucker needed to be destroyed, there were a lot of men in that room. That's the only indication I needed to know how serious that was," Jessica nods in agreement. "Do not forget, despite all my connections, I am my own person, I have my own life. I am very much like you in many ways, you've just got to see past your own nose to see that." Jessica smirks. "I always presume, Nat. Your problems are my problems, whether you or I like it or not. Trust me, I don't." "If I were dead, so be it," Natasha responds evenly. "I would have died quietly, my body left in the remains of the room, hopefully with Strucker's right beside me." Her tone is cold. She means it. "Instead, Stark felt forced to reveal his secret to half of god-damned SHIELD and the Avengers who were unaware, and in defiance of my DIRECT ORDERS. No one who went to that room was supposed to be saved. No one, Drew."

She's actually shaking slightly-- she is not a temperamental woman by nature. Glaciers grow angry quicker than she does (unless Barton's involved, because he has a gift at pushing her buttons). But there is fury in her eyes as she regards Drew. "There was /nothing/ quiet about this mission. If Stark hadn't been diving after me, if he insisted on going in to help, it /would have been Steve/ he saved. Not me."

She looks at Drew, and then practically spits, "The portal was a direct line to Limbo. TO HELL, Drew. Yes, that's where I trained. James, too. That's why the facility was built to lockdown, why the walls were lined with lead, why the doors were so heavy between the sections, why the top floor on the ground level was rigged to blow." She looks aside, her fists clenching.

"That's the thing, Nat. You are an Avenger, SHIELD too, yes. But an Avenger. A team. No matter if it was a SHIELD operation or not, the Avengers were there. And I do care if you die, especially needlessly, Stark was acting as Stark, but he was also acting as an Avenger. Trust me, a few more moments and I would've coded, there wouldn't have been anyone to bring me back like they did on the plane. Three times, I might add." Jessica sniffs, bringing her gaze level with Natasha. "Orders mean nothing when it comes to one of our own." Jessica grins. "You had to have known that when you brought the Avengers in on this."

Though her next elicits a nod. "True. And if there were more to help you, that room wouldn't have been a problem. It would have been taken care of and done no one in need of saving. There are a lot of what ifs, Nat, I like to focus on the 'what can we do so this shit doesn't happen again," front. I cannot change the past, only move forward. Painfully forward."

Jessica shuts her mouth when Natasha says her last, considering for a long moment what to say next. "It... Nat," she says calmly, reconsidering her words again. "Hell, hmm?" She worries her lip. "I am sorry that you both had to live through that, it explains a lot, actually. Still, it needed to be destroyed, you are undoubtedly correct about that. It's gone now, I saw it wink out of existence, bright flash of light, or whatever you would call it." Jessica is having troubles with finding the words, clearly. "Should've just blown the whole place to begin with. To Hell with the serum. Do not feel... responsible for Steve's death. It is not your fault, it could never be your fault unless you pulled the trigger yourself. You didn't." Jessica assures.

Natasha nods slowly, her gaze meeting Jess's. "James and I trained together there." She pauses. "He was one of the few that did not receive the injections who were sent through." She licks her lips, looking away again. "I went with him sometimes." She pauses. "My husband was still in Moscow... usually. He was a fighter pilot." She swallows. "I was young, and James was... James was a good man. Strong. Protective. Handsome." She doesn't explain further.

She shifts in her chair saying not a word until Natasha finishes. "Is," she smiles, "is handsome. I met him, remember," she waggles a brow lightly. "As for your training, it seems like a rather... well, effective but... Hell. That's... they had to have had complications." Jessica stands up and walks over to the water cooler, grabbing a cup of water for herself and Nat, even though she walked in with a coffee. "The serum, you mean," she says setting down the cup in front of Nat before taking her seat, "were the injections?"

She nods, considering that a moment. "A husband, eh? You don't seem too proud of that," Jessica says, taking a sip of water. "At any rate, I don't see how you wouldn't have formed a... strong bond with James. Especially if he is everything you say," Jessica offers.

Natasha gives Drew a wry grin. "He is handsome, yes. And I won't talk about the room, Drew. Yes, there were complications. Fatalities. That's all I can say." She takes the water and sips it, lost in thought for a moment. "Our marriage was a good one, as they go. But it was quite arranged by the government. We cared for each other. When they told me he died... James was the one who comforted me." The particular stress on that leaves no question on what form of comfort he had provided.

She shakes her head. "I have not spoken about... any of this. In a very long time. Some of it, ever. Clint... he knew, about Alexi-- my husband. Not much, of course. Just that he was a fighter pilot for the Soviets, when I was in, as he terms it, 'super spy training'." She takes another sip. "He did not know about James. I never expected to see James again... not where any discussions we had did not involve bullets or knives. I defected after I was burned, remember? To him, I was a traitor."

"I understand that," she says of her not explaining things, "but frankly that is all I need to know. What happened inside that door... what you did in there. I don't need to know unless it will kill me and I'm near it, or you want to tell me. Order of importance, really. I like to live," she grins, taking another drink. "Anyway, I believe the loss for such a thing would be rather high, it is Hell, after all. Even at the worst of my imagination it is bad, I am sure it is actually far worse, beyond words, even," Jessica nods sagely.

"At least you had that, a good marriage, even if it was arranged," she shrugs, leaning back in her seat. "I would not expect anything less from someone who called himself a friend to Steve. Brainwashed or not, there is still a person in there, there was a reason he was close to Steve, something I'm sure brainwashing cannot take away. Perhaps not quite in that manner.."

Jessica trails off with a grin as picks a hair off her blouse and looks up at Natasha. "Super spy training," Jessica snorts, "that's one way to put it. It works." Jessica remembers reading about Natasha's past, well, what she could get ahold of anyway, the burning was in there. "I do, and I can see how you'd think that, too. To have him show up after all this time, brainwashed, he certainly did try to kill people. You being a traitor, that wouldn't at all surprise me, in his eyes. Not anymore, supposedly, anyway."

"No. This is... the worst time for James to come back." Natasha shakes her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Things were complicated enough with Clint and with Tony. Adding James... I am not sure I have the patience."

"I see..." Jessica says over the rim of her cup, "I can see that as being. Well. Problematic. I suppose it would be wise to decide what you want to do, to Hell with everyone else, my dear. We cannot please everyone. As for James, well. It might be best to leave the past in the past. He has enough to sort through than trying to figure out if his relationship with you during that time was arranged. That is how they seemed to have operated, that seems to be how they all operate," Jessica's brow furrows, remembering the boyfriend HYDRA ordered to be with her to keep her compliant. "He might not know, or want to know, what to believe. You know?"

Natasha nods slightly. "It wasn't arranged... for what that is worth. As far as I could tell. It has not been so long for him as for me. It is my recent, more raw for him." She sighs.

"No, it is not just this." She glances over at Drew. "I've already told the Director... and if you can keep this to yourself until after tomorrow evening..."

She sighs again. "I'm with child. Tony's." Yeah, that might explain some of the temper.

Jessica nods. "I believe you," she says with a sigh, "I also believe that you are unsure. Brainwashing, even after it is reversed, always seems to leave us with doubts." She takes a drink and sets the cup down on her desk. "I should say very raw, when I spoke to him he just wanted to get out of the mansion. Not to say I blame him, I took off from SHIELD and jumped the radar of both SHIELD and HYDRA for quite some time." She touches her hair and smiles. "That's how this happened, it stuck, obviously. The color, I mean."

Jessica puts her hand down and nods. "He said that he needed some time alone, I offered him a place to stay here should ever he need it. It's safe, and I don't usually pry too much, unless I almost died or something of that nature," she grins at Natasha, a touch of dark humor, no doubt. As for her news, that gains a raise of her brow. "Oh. Well. That certainly explains a lot, as well. What the Hell are you going to do?" Jessica seems quite interested in the answer to that.

"Whatever Tony wants, at this point. You think he was edging on insanity before?" Natasha looks less than pleased. "Try him now after losing Steve and finding out he is to be a father in the same 24 hour period. No, he wants this child. So I suppose we'll see how things go." She doesn't give specific plans. Of course not. She's still weighing things herself.

"Bloody Hell, Natasha," Jessica rubs a hand on her face, "might as well put yourself in a bionic bubble now," she says, shaking her head. "Yes. He seems quite the mess. And the loss of a child, his to be exact, would be more than he can handle, I think." Jessica rubs the back of her neck. "Pregnant, Natasha. The Heavens are about to fall from the sky, aren't they?" Jessica may or may not be trying to be humorous, but she's not smiling, she looks... stressed. "I guess you will. Though, if you hurt Tony, it will be just as bad. How? I mean, I thought, you know... kids weren't a possible thing for you."

"I lost the super soldier serum. The sterility was a by-product." Natasha sighs. "It wasn't exactly planned. So... Tony and I weren't exactly thinking about birth control." She rolls her eyes. "I've been sterile since I was 17 and took the injections. I didn't think about it. He didn't either, but he didn't know I was... depowered." She gives Drew a Look. "That's what we were fighting about in Malibu, of course."

She grumbles. "He tries the bubble, but I do not take to containment well. There have been many discussions already as to the disposition of the child." She means arguments. Possibly screaming matches, given how things were going in Malibu. "I am confident that rationality will win out, eventually." She means, she will get her way.

"Oh... well, that sucks," Jessica says sympathetically. "I mean, it makes perfect sense, though. The sterile part and the not even thinking part. I wouldn't, honestly." Jessica nods. "I had wondered why he was so livid. That makes sense, too." She runs her hand absently through her hair. "Damn. This really, really, sucks."

She laughs a little and nods. "I am not shocked, at either of your reactions to that. Can't keep you in one place for long. Oh..." Jessica says, biting her lip. "That seems... oh, I would not want to talk to him about /that/. I mean... Already?! Sheesh," she says picking up the glass and taking another drink. "The thing isn't even, you know. a real person yet. Jumping the gun a bit early. "You might have a screw loose if you think Tony and rational are something that can be said in the same sentence. Darling, you have a fight on your hands I would not want."

"I will win it," Natasha says confidently. "However I must." She hmms. "He's excited, and terrified. We are making the official announcement at the meeting tomorrow." She considers. "This is why it is bad James is here now." Among other things.

"I do not know how everyone else will take the news. But..." she pauses. "I am thinking of taking up Chairman once Tony steps down. If the Avengers will have me. I am... 'benched'? Is the term? Until after the child is born anyway. Both here and with SHIELD. I want to be of use."

"Oh. I do not doubt that," she grins. "Well, it is to be expected that he's emotional about it, even more so now with Steve gone," Jessica says solemnly. "And, if James is all you say he is, he would be happy for you. You know?" Jessica shrugs, taking a drink and setting the cup back down. "As for everyone else. They will be shocked, to be sure. And I am not quite sure what I am to do about the Chairman spot," she states frankly. "I am sure there are ways to make use of you, in any case." Natasha nods, standing. "I actually need to be going-- need to check back in with Tony."

Jessica nods in return, going back to the files on her desk. "Oh. Tell the warden I said 'hello,' will you?" There's a grin on her face as she scribbles away with a pen she procured from her hair. "Good day, Natasha."