2014-01-11 - Simon's Mxy'ed Up Space Adventure

Pepper called today, to the head of Simon's department, Dr. Markenson. Something about an experimental high orbital station made by Stark - supposed to be to try to explore the edge of the universe, or at least one specific spot - the cold spot - where it's theorized that our universe may be actually touching with another universe - possibly even a higher dimension! Sure, it's already been established that there is a multiverse, thanks to visionaries like Reed Richards, but this is different - especially if it's a higher dimension. Who knows what they could find?

Unfortunately, it's hit a snag. The orbital station's deep space telemetry scopes picked up something.... then the earthbound stations totally lost contact with the 3 man crew and all the data stopped. They know it wasn't destroyed - visually at least, but that's all, aside from there being some sort of powerful EMP pulse that seems to be shutting down anything electronic that comes near - including the 3 probes that were launched.

Pepper decided to not tell Tony, since she didnt want him going and flying up there himself.

Fortunately, she had someone else on the payroll now who could handle the investigation. After all... if there's a problem, those crew members would need help.

Pepper relates the update to both Simon and the head of the department. "... so I was hoping you could go up there and check, and keep in contact with Dr. Markenson once you shut down whatever's causing the EMP pulses that are preventing communication?"

"How long should it take?" Simon asked, adjusting his sunglasses. He rolled his shoulders, his muscles pressing at his business-appropriate button-up shirt. "I mean, how far out there is it? Do we know?" He supposes he could track it's energy signature if it left any traces, what with his vision, but anything may help.

Pepper Potts shakes her head on the video screen. "No idea - that's why we need someone to go up there and find out what's going on. It's in a pretty high orbit, actually. Would you be okay with going up there, Simon?"

"Of course," Simon says. "Happy to. It's my job." He gave a smile and a thumbs up. "So it's still in orbit? That's good then. Makes the job a lot less tedious. I thought I'd be out in space for months!"

Pepper Potts nods. "Yeah it's in orbit and we visually identified that it's there but.... well.... um..." She switches to what was shown. "Soon as we tried to get a closer visual than this...." There's a video of the station in high orbit in space. Then it cuts out, but not before a tongue forms on the screen and gives a 'ptthhhhhhhhhhhhbbbt' sound. Then the screen blanks out. "We thought maybe it was hackers interrupting the feed but to be honest we're at a loss. We had some of our best check on that and they couldnt find anything.

Simon Williams's brows rose. "Well, that just seems goofy," he said. "I'll head out there now. Thanks, Ms. Potts." He then started toward a window, opened it. Clambered his way out. His body shimmered, taking his ionic form. He shut the door and then he was off! Once he got a distance above the city, he sped up rapidly, soon a vapor cone was trailing behind him as he was going the speed of sound straight to where the sattelite should be, leaving a cometlike tail of ionic energy behind him!

Simon flies towards the STATION, it really is on the far limits of an orbit of the Earth. Almost halfway to a lunar orbit. But the station is getting closer and closer in his vision.

And that's when he hits into the 'wall.'

Yeah, a wall in space. Or more like a big sphetical ball in space. And the station seems 'painted' on the wall.

Oof.

WHAM! What the? Simon was surprised, and concerned. He floated back, scrutinizing the big ball, painted like a space station. What the hell is this? What's going on? He looked for the door. This seemed like something out of a cartoon. So... being a man with a sense of humor, he knocked.

Funny fact, in space there's no sound. It's something the movies and cartoons and sci fi stories often get wrong.

So imagine the confusion when:

1) Simon hears a knock when he knocks on the sphere.

2) He hears a screechy man's voice go "Who iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis iiiiiiiiiiiiiit?"

Simon Williams took a moment to turn his head and laugh. Laugh a little bit crazy. Then, realizing the inherent humor and irony, he looks to the door once more. He cleared his throat and said:

"Simon says: Open, says me!" Instead of open sesame, it's just 'sez me.'

A door 'pops' into existence on the ball, and in the upper part of the door, a little slot opens up. You can see two eyes peeping at you. "Hey... you're not Supes! Do you have an appointment for this fine establishment?" You can almost hear the smugness. "We're VERY exclusive."

Simon Williams reached his fingers into the slot, so he could just rip the door right off it's wacky hinges. He wasn't Superman, but he was still one of the strongest beings in the universe. "You're right. We're very exclusive. This establishment isn't yours to take, buster. Nope. Nothing super here. Not even a marvel. Just a wonder."

Mr. Mxyzptlk's whole head suddenly squeezes through the door slot, along with one of his hands. "Hey there, MISTER BIG SHOT!" he says, poking Simon in the chest. His bulbous nose presses up against Wonder Man's ... normal one. The guy's face is weird, almost cartoonish. Mostly bald but sporting an almost.... Larry from the Three Stooges meets Krusty the Clown hairdo - though it's white hair. He also has a bow tie and a bowler hat on his head. "And don't you know it's illegal to peep! You peeping peeper!" He snaps his fingers and suddenly, you're no longer in space about to rip a door off a ball in space. Instead, you're on....

Wait, are you on the Enterprise? And... wow, Leonard Nimoy is there, spock ears and all. The captain's chair turns around, and Mr. Mxyzptlk is sitting in it in the captain's uniform. "You guys should know your place! Trying to spy on us while we shower and have nude twister. The nerve!"

A redhead female yeoman in a very tight yellow uniform comes over. "Captain Mxy? What's wrong with nude twister?" The girl looks like a cross between Jessica Rabbit and a Boris Vallejo babe. She hands 'Captain Mxy' a pad and walks away, swaying her hips.

Mxy looks - somewhere - at the viewers? "I take back the nude twister thing, who wouldnt wanna peep on that, amirite? Rowr."

And is Simon wearing a red shirt? Yep.

 Simon Williams says, "I can't stop laughing"

This was all happening so quick! "Mxy?" Simon asked, realizing his sunglasses are now a Geordi LaForge style visor. "That's your name?" He looked down at his red sirt. Oh, he knows this score. "Oh, you Mxy-prick."

Mr. Mxyzptlk gasps, "Hey now, none of that. You're going to get cancelled if you keep that up!" He stands up in his chair, but since he's maybe 3 feet tall that's still not all that imposing. Then he winds up like he's a pitcher and throws an imaginary ball at you. But instead of a ball hitting you, a big black sticker covers your mouth with a bunch of symbols on it like #?!$!@.

He then flies over "I...." he bows once. "am Mr. Mxyzptlk. You can't call me Mxy. She can. Because... well have you LOOKED at her?" His head changes into a wolf. "A-woooooooo!" then changes back to his normal cartoonish head.

"See, if you were Supes, you'd know all about me. I had this whole thing planned for him. Or I'd even take the ditz cheerleader. Or the buff one with the big..... wink wink nod nod." he says, motioning at the chest area.

He doesnt wink and nod. He actually says 'wink wink nod nod.'

He pauses. "Actually can we get her over here? I'd totally let her in on nude twister."

He then says, "Oh yeah! I forgot! Why are you trying to spy on us? You lower dimensional goobers!"

"What the $#&?" asked Simon. "Oh, $@&#^ this. Look. I'm not Superman or any of his pals. Came up here to figure out what's going on with the satellite. It hasn't even left orbit. So we're technically not spying on anybody. Yet. Now get out of here. Or better yet - how do I make you get out of here?"

Mxyzptlk frowns. "Oh it's not?" He pulls out a telescope and points it right in Simon's face. He can see a big eye right on the end of it. "How about this? I'm not right in your face! I'm not right in your face!"

The end of the telescope bops Simon in his forehead a few times each time Mxy says that. "Technicalities!"

Suddenly the whole area pops and is replaced by a courtroom. Complete with Bull from Night Court as a bailiff!

And Leonard Nimoy complete with spock ears!

Simon is on the Defendant's side, and the hot Jessica Rabbit girl is on the prosecutor side. And Mxy is up as the judge. "You're wrong, wrong, wrong! You were spying with your peeper machine! Ms. Gsptlsnz! Tell the defendant the charges and what is up!"

The girl sighs and rolls her eyes. "This wasn't my idea."

Mxy: "Cmon Gizbie! I have a thing going here and Boring Blue's not around and this new guy's just taking this too much in stride, follow the script!"

Gsptlsnz takes a moment, and says in a humdrum voice, "Humans from the third dimension did knowingly and willfully point a spy satellite at a window into the 5th dimension, threatening the welfare and privacy rights of its inhabitants under The reality decency article 420152012015121510212051012021012.2 section 521120129120210121515.8"

Mxy: "Which article and section again? It sounded like you were just making up numbers."

Gizbie looks at Mxy, then at Simon, then back at Mxy. "Article 420152012015121510212051012021012.2 section 521120129120210121515.8"

Mxy: "Dare you to say that again."

Gizbie: "No. And in answer to the defendant's question, the only way to have Mxy go back is to have him say his name backwards."

Mxy: "You're not supposed to tell HIM that. He's not Supes!"

Gizbie looks at Mxy. "It's the law."

Mxy yells, "What law says that he has to - oh no..."

Gizbie starts, "Article 515616169101295101297510215971059710921019825091801-"

Mxy: "OKAY OKAY! WE GET IT!"

Simon had to take this all in stride. There wasn't much more he could do. Ending up on the defendant's chair, he was completely confused. And then Gizby and Mxy were talking. "Alright. I may not be a lawyer, but I watched a lot of USA and I think I can do a suitable job. I would like to represent myself," he said, standing up, and tall. "Because I represent Stark Enterprises on a venture to explore space. You're intruding on a scientific venture to enact a... frankly, goofy-@$$ plan just to stir up the nest so Superman will give you a wedgie. Is this true?"

Gizbie looks at Simon and is about to give a reasoned, reasonable explanation about how the station is trying to peer into a gateway into the 5th dimension, which is possibly viewable through the 'cold spot' - and that's the reason they're here, much as if it would be invading one's privacy to use high powered binoculars to look through someone's window from the next house - rather than an 'invasion of a scientific venture.'

She gets as far as "We-" before Judge Mxy starts up, banging his gavel, "OBJECTION! OBJECTION! YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER SIR!"

Gizbie sighs and shakes her head.

"Alright, alright," Simon said, holding up his hands. "But tell me," he said, taking off his sunglasses. "What color are these?" He had a plan.

Mr. Mxyzptlk might be a nearly omnipotent being here in the third dimension, but he's about as smart as he is in the fifth dimension.

In other words, he's an idiot.

So he goes along with the question. "Red of course!"

Ms. Gsptlsnz watches this curiously, twirling a lock of her hair idly.

Looking to Gizby, Simon said, politely, "Miss, may I please have a marker and some paper?" If he'd get some (it's not an unreasonable request), he'd start to scribble. It took a little time, but then he'd show the drawing. It was a picture of Superman, on a unicycle, that was slipping on a banana peel. "Correct. And what is this?"

Gizbie snaps her fingers. After a paper and marker pop into existence for Simon, Mxy looks at the picture ... intrigued now. Then he starts laughing. "That's a masterpiece! That's what that is!" He even applauds a bit.

Simon Williams erased the paper, because this made no sense and markers can be erased. He then started drawing again. It took a little while. When he was done, he lifted up the picture. It was a picture of Mxy, with a crown on his head and a smile on his face. Superman was kneeling, with a jester's cap on. There was a speech bubble above Mxy's head, saying, "All hail Kltpzyxm!"

Simon smiled. "Whatcha think of this?"

Mxyzptlk seems to LOVE the picture. "OH MY! I HAVE TO PUT THAT ON THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR! HA! ALL HAIL KLTPZYXM! YEAH THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SUP- uh oh..."

AT which point he pops out of existence.

Ms. Gsptlsnz is still there though and smiles. "You know, if you guys keep spying on the fifth dimension with your station, he'll just keep coming back and making problems. Just a heads up." She then puts her hand to her head like a phone and winks at Simon, mouthing 'call me' before she pops out of existence too.

As does the entire court.

Leaving Simon back in space, next to the real research space station.

And yay, Simon can swear again if he's so inclined.

You know... if he wasnt in space. Since there's no sound in space.

Simon swore, all right. He swore up a storm. He'd have to start writing his report immediately. And he'd have to get correspondence from Superman on this Mxy fellow. He gave a quick cursory look over the space station. Were there people in there? Was it unmanned? Were things gonna be okay?

Seems like everyone in the station seem okay. In fact they look like they have no idea anything was ever wrong!

And again, you can't actually swear in space. No sound.