DB: 2012-04-01 - From the Funny Pages

Pg 19, Phil Ulrich, Intern%R%R%TA spate of weird, nonsensical incidents struck the greater New York City area in the last twenty four hours, including the disruption of Bi-Beast’s attempt at exterminating all of the pigeons of Central Park, the end of the White Rabbit’s Reign of Terror when she and the Spider-Man Revenge Squad were captured (not by Spider-Man), and other villains of less than note were caught throughout the city and it’s municipal areas such as Big Wheel, the Gibbon and the Grizzly, Princess Python, Hypno Hustler, Stilt Man, Madcap, The Black Cock and his zombie pigeon legion, and in an annoyance for downtown travel the Walrus blocking traffic in Times Square.%R%R%TAnd Batroc the Leaper was captured by Captain America after an assault on an uptown Ice Cream Parlor while his brigade ended up being caught in an attempted hostage situation at Damage Control, Incorporated. I guess we’ve all screamed for ice cream now. Why all these less than reknown adversaries have choosen this day to run amuck like ducks with their heads cut off is something that is better left not pondered by those under the drinking age. This is Phil Ulrich, Intern Extraordinaire with the byline. Thank you. Can I get paid now?%R%R%TAnd Happy April First and Fools Day to you all from the Daily Bugle. Please toot our horn!