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The scene shifts to the familiar Channel Six newsroom, decorated over in Christmas decorations, even though said holiday is months away.
Newscaster Vernon Fenwick stands up, "Remember, if you don't spend money, the Terrorists Win!" Vernon is wearing a Santa hat that continuously flips over to hang over his nose, making him sneeze to blow it up. "Also, Festivus: A holiday for the rest of us, or dirty communist tradition to undermine American free markets? But first, our main story."
A picture is shown of Tony Stark with a wearied, emotionally exhausted look upon his face, "Tony Stark has abdicated his position as CEO of Stark Enterprises, and given it to his personal assistant, a Miss Pepper Potts. While I'm sure we can all agree that Miss Potts is a qualified woman to remind Mister Stark to wear pants in the morning, a long and storied career as the assistant of a drunken braggart and loudmouth does not qualify one to be the CEO of a major corporation. While I'm not a stockbroker, we can all agree that Stark Enterprises will soon be heading down, back to the gutter, where it belongs!"
Vernon smashes his fist over into his desk, and lets out a yelp then as he gets a booboo, "And what of his supposed bodyguard, Iron Man? Chairperson fo the Avengers? Flying around beating up street crime? Wasting US Government and Taxpayer money! I think we can all agree that Mister Iron ham should spend his time lighting up a grill as opposed to doing things so incredibly beneath him. Which is why I, once again, Vernon Fenwick cannot stress how much the Kelly and Osborn ticket to stop such ridiculous profiteering of good American taxpayer money, and show the commies the what for!" Vernon is, once again, getting his metaphors mixed up as his floppy santa hat flaps over his face, and his sneezing causes him to fall over backwards in his chair.
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